Reading, Writing, Ruminating

On Priests, Family and Responsibilities

2012-02-06T17:02:00.000-08:00

My mother's older brother, Rev. D. S. Pathak, died last week. I imagine there is a lot of rejoicing in heaven right now, even though his immediate family is missing him very much. Of his generation, only two out of seven siblings are still alive.

Below you can see a picture of my mother's family. My uncle is the young deacon on the left. My mother is next to him, pregnant with my brother. My grandmother is next, holding my mother's first-born son (who died when he was five). The remaining are other brothers and sisters, except for the man seated at the very right. That is my father.

I wouldn't have these old pictures if it weren't for my uncle. He embraced the new technology and after retiring from the day-to-day responsibilities of a parish priest, took upon himself to make family trees. He scanned some of these old pictures and emailed them. I treasure them.

This is a close-knit family. Alas, I never knew my cousins very well because we lived too far away even when we were in India. Money was tight (my mother was alone raising us while my father pursued his studies in the US) and travelling to visit family was a rarity. Later, we emigrated to the US, and money was still scarce when my parents got divorced. My mother did get to go back a couple of years before she died and she had such a good time visiting her brothers and sisters. She brought back many happy memories.

I look at these young faces and see how beautifully their lives have unfolded. They have faced many trials, each and every one of them, but they never lost their faith in God. They trusted Him and His great providence. I hope to walk in their footsteps and meet them in heaven. It is one of my greatest joys that my uncle got to know that I returned to our Christian faith before his death.

Sadly, I do not know all our family history. They were Brahmin priests for generations until one of them converted to Christianity. My mother told me there was always a priest in the family. I do not know if it's true (she also told me that Elvis Presley was Indian and that babies came from belly-buttons). But here is her father -- he became a bishop in the Episcopal church.

What a great responsibility it is to be a bishop or a priest. I am overwhelmed at times at the responsibility I have as a mother. I will have to answer to God how I raised them. But priests and bishops will have to answer whether they shepherded their flock to Christ. All those souls!

So let us pray for our priests and bishops, and for our dearly departed, that they may rest in peace with our Savior. And let us pray for more vocations to consecrated religious life.

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Catholic Schools and Mermaid Purses

2012-01-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

It's Catholic Schools Week celebration. I am a product of a wonderful convent school education in India and we are so blessed that our children can attend the parish school. They are thriving. I hope that they'll be able to go to a Catholic college too. Must sell books! And may they be best-sellers!

Sometimes dollies ought to join our children at school and Mass, don't you think?

This weekend we went to the beach after our Bible study class (Genesis) and look what we found ... a mermaid's purse! Isn't nature amazing and marvelous? My daughter wants to hatch these shark eggs now, but this purse is drying on our porch along with other pretty shells and claws. You'll be sure we'll be hot-glue-gunning them in various combinations. Over Christmas vacation we made a few photo frames with popsicle sticks, shells and beads. Fun, fun, fun. I thank God every day for bringing us here.

Is this year flying or what? I can't believe January is almost over. Have a great week, all.
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Reading

2012-01-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

I should be working on my novel revisions and little books (yes, I'm on deadline) but I just finished one set of them, so decided to share my thoughts on a couple of historical fiction books I've been reading.

My Name is Not Easy by Debby Dahl Edwardson. What a fascinating and troubling bit of history. The story is based upon the author's husband's life when he was a boy growing up in Alaska. Luke, the protagonist and his two younger brothers are sent to a Catholic boarding school to get an education. It chronicles their relationships with each other, with the nuns and priests, and their fellow students. The novel has multiple viewpoints and although at first I didn't like having to switch between the different characters, by a third of the way through, the shifts no longer mattered. Their stories did.

One thing that really struck me is how mean one of the priests was. It made the boys wonder if God was like that too, judgmental and waiting to punish all the times they disobeyed. It reminded me of the time I read Roald Dahl's autobiography Boy. He talks about the terrible punishment inflicted upon the boys at his Catholic boarding school and he lost his faith because of it. I don't understand how any priest or nun could be so cruel in the name of shaping little heathens.

My experience has been the opposite. Priests and nuns were people of refuge. You could run to them at any time because you knew they cared. Yes, I've been spanked for sliding down the banisters or running in the hallways, but it was not a sustained beating. There was always love. They wanted me to be a lady, not a junglee. The nuns I knew fostered my faith. And so I wonder, if a priest behaves in such a way so as to undermine a child's faith (even though it's inadvertent in the name of discipline) I wonder about the judgment of God upon that priest. Because yes, there is judgment after death. We are all accountable, and just as I am accountable for my responsibility towards my children, priests have an even greater responsibility as they shepherd their flock.

Lord, have mercy.

Sometimes that's all you can say, as Ann Fay muses in Blue by Joyce Moyer Hostetter. The author writes about local history. It chronicles the time when Ann Fay's daddy goes off to fight Hitler and she's the man of the house. She puts on overalls and helps Mama with the younger kids, working in the garden, until polio strikes the youngest in their family -- her brother Bobby. Mom goes off to the polio camp with Bobby and Ann Fay is left to do the work of her mama as well -- the washing, cleaning, scrubbing, cooking and burning of toys. Yes, to rid the house of polio germs.

The voice of Ann Fay is that of a sturdy girl, a girl with a heart after her daddy. From the first page, I was hoping and praying for her daddy. Bring him home. Lest you worry, he does, bringing home a piece of something I didn't quite expect. Brought tears to my eyes.

Both books are beautifully written, with distinctive voices, of love and loss and of finding love again. They are stories about survival, stories that I'm so thankful the authors chose to tell. I hope you will pick these up.

Happy reading and writing, all.
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Conference

2012-01-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

I have signed up for my first Christian children's writing conference: Write2Ignite! I don't know whether I can finish my revisions by then, but I am certainly going to try. I am not planning to shove it under any bathroom stalls (oh the stories I've heard) but rather to get to know Christian children's writers in the Carolinas and it would be lovely to say that I'm done. Of course, we know that until a book is published, the work is never done. In any case, if you are a writer in the Carolinas, and have a Christian mindset, check out this conference. It is very reasonably priced and I expect it to be small and intimate.

I'm carpooling with a woman whose work I've admired for many years -- Janice Green. She makes Bible quilts. When I first heard about her, I thought it was a brilliant idea. Like Dominic, she also sells coloring books.

I don't know much about the Christian market, since the bulk of the work I do is in the secular market, and I am changing directions as y'all know. It's gratifying to see overtly Christian movies like Fireproof or Courageous ended up in theatres across the country. Oh, how I long for Cecil B. DeMillesque great Biblical epics.

So, if I disappear for a little while in my revision cave, don't worry. I'll come out eventually. Know that I am working slowly and steadily on my book.

God bless you all.

Hopes, Dreams and Goals

2012-01-03T18:23:00.000-08:00

I tend to be a very goal-oriented person and I am very blessed that my birthday falls at a time when I am naturally taking stock of the past and looking to the future. I almost always accomplish what I set out to do, even without knowing much. I have a feeling my guardian angel is always watching out for me. See, the year I turned nineteen, I told my best friend that I would have a summer romance. I did.

I didn't count on falling deeply in love but I did, and I cried buckets six months later when he left the sleepy little town in rural Washington where we ate ice cream and talked each others' ears off, where he serenaded me with Eric Clapton, Dire Straits, and Van Morrison, and where we made a thousand memories. I doubted he would ever care to come back to me with the glamour of California. But he did. Our love grew over the years even though we were apart most of the time, and finally after ten years, we figured out that we ought to get married. Yeah, I know. We're a bit slow ...

I said I would do plant pathology (after studying the minutiae of bacteria) and I did. I said I would become a writer, and I did. I said I wanted to have children, and was blessed with two.

Cocky, aren't I? I pretty much get what I want. But I've become a bit more humble over the years. I realize I am nothing without God. The very breath I take is because He allows it. I do nothing on my own. So, now my deepest desire is that my hopes, dreams and goals are what God wants me to hope and dream and work towards.

This is what I hope for in my life this year. God willing, all these things will happen.

1. Bear another child. Yes. Really. I'm not kidding. It would be a miracle.
2. Have more peace between my two children. Have them grow closer to God every day.
3. Polish my current book and send it out. May the right editor love it enough to buy it.
4. Begin another book that's been percolating for a few years.
5. Develop a heart after God's own heart.

I can only see pieces of myself. I long to be the person God wants me to be.

You guessed right -- I've always wanted to be a magnificent tiger!

And so I pray. And I humbly ask for your prayers for these hopes and dreams of mine.
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Christmas Holidays

2011-12-30T17:36:00.000-08:00

This Christmas is lovely. Dinner parties, puzzles, a movie, a trip to the aquarium and cookies! My daughter has become a baking fiend. These Russian teacakes rival Grandma's.

I hope you're all enjoying the Christmas season. Here's wishing you a most sparkly and beautiful New Year, filled with God's abundant graces. May you all be refreshed and renewed for 2012.

Touched by God

2011-12-24T06:40:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from Msgr. Charles Pope:

A magnificent mystery is before us. The infinite is an infant. He who looks down upon all creation now looks up from a cradle. He who spoke worlds into existence, now sounds forth with the cry of an infant. Another old Latin hymn captures mystery and the warmth of the moment: Alpha et O, matris in gremio (Alpha and omega is sitting in mommy’s lap). And from his mother’s lap he beckons us to approach and touch him. This day, we touch our God, and God touches us.God bless you all.

We desperately need this touch, this contact with our God, this hand is stretched out to heal and save. We had grown old in our sins, and this infant child draws us back to the joy and innocence of our youth. This outstretched hand of our God will heal the sick and the leprous, raise up the paralyzed and the dead. This hand will drive out demons and rebuke the storm tossed waves. This hand will be nailed to a cross to save us.

Please go here to read the full reflection.

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Merry Christmas!

2011-12-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from the Bodachs. I'm posting some creative work from my son:

The Reason for Christmas

Searching, searching, all night long,
for a sleigh that will never come.

Parents creeping down the stairs,
avoiding curious children's stares.

Wrapping, wrapping, an hour straight,
fulfilling children's sleepless wait.

Oh joy, oh joy, it's Christmas morning!
Ripping, tearing, shouts of delight.

But through the hubbub, promotion, and noise,
they forget the real reason, those girls and boys.

A Child was born under a star so bright.
He brought peace, hope, and light.

So this Christmas, ponder my thoughts,
and keep the real reason for Christmas inside your hearts.

-- mkb

MuttCracker

2011-12-18T10:34:00.001-08:00

Friday night we got to see the Nutcracker. Sharing the stage at the very beginning were three dogs. This is the first time for my daughter to see the Nutcracker and she was delighted. I will forever think of it as the Muttcracker from now on. Adopt a mutt from the shelter if you're thinking of getting a furry companion.

The music of course, is wonderful, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself, marvelling at the pirouettes, the jumps and the beauty of the dance form, and remembering my own days taking dance classes during graduate school. Nope, it wasn't part of the biochemistry curriculum and I even had to have a talk with the head of the department to okay it, but it was great fun.

The last time I'd gone to see a ballet was nearly twelve years ago. My neighbor had an extra ticket because her husband was travelling out of town. My son was just a few months old and I was still nursing him every 2-3 hours. I thought I'd be fine. I'd pumped milk beforehand for the baby. I was excited to go out without a diaper bag. However, after intermission, the top of my dress began to strain to the point I feared the buttons would pop. And to my horror, I was leaking milk. My neighbor wanted to take me out to eat since I didn't get out much, but after seeing the state of my dress, we came home. I don't think I ever went to any ballet after that.

Until now ...

Methinks we'll have to do this again sometime.

Here's a video of our sweet mutt (thanks to my son).

The video gives me a taste of what I missed. My husband took the kids to the beach on Saturday so that I could finish up a work-for-hire project. And as my friend Marcia would completely understand, to reward myself for finishing, I'm going to spend some more time writing! And baking, cleaning house, and putting up more pictures on the wall. And let's not forget singing Christmas carols.

So tell me, what are you doing this last week right before Christmas?
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Coloring Books

2011-12-14T08:24:00.000-08:00

I have a new critique partner -- Dominic De Souza. We met at Church a couple of months ago and discovered our passion for children's literature. I feel incredibly blessed to talk about books and works-in-progress critically with another children's writer, especially one as talented as Dominic. Please check out his website. And while you're at it, please think about buying his coloring book -- a beautiful Christmas gift to inspire children to Truth.

Another Treasure

2011-12-02T11:34:00.001-08:00

This book along with Mystic Monk coffee arrived in the mail yesterday! Haven't brewed the coffee yet, but read a few pages and it is marvelous. Quintessential Fulton Sheen. Scripture, reflection and prayer. Reflection for Day 1: God walks into your soul with silent step. God comes to you more than you go to Him. Never will his coming be what you expect, and yet never will it disappoint. The more you respond to his gentle pressure, the greater will be your freedom.

This is a busy season for many, including us. It's all too easy to become distracted by the things of the world. Archbishop Fulton Sheen is a wonderful companion to our little Advent village -- inside the cubbies I tuck in chocolate kisses, little animals and selected Scripture passages for the children.

So much for staying off the Internet, but sometimes I just have to share all this goodness.

Tell me, how do you maintain the spirit of Christmas in the midst of all the secular noise?
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Treasures

2011-12-01T11:24:00.001-08:00

I love this time of year, even though it's always busy. For some reason, I've always been on tight deadlines for the past few years. All self-inflicted of course, but I do enjoy the work and I can focus better on short projects at this time than the novel, so it all works out in the end.

Congratulations to all those who wrote entire novels or skeletons of novels in Nov.

Here are some treasures for you:

I won't be online much (except for work) so here's wishing you all a beautiful and blessed Advent.

Thankful

2011-11-22T09:33:00.001-08:00

One thing in particular: a choir for the traditional Latin Mass (TLM) at our parish. We will have a Midnight Missa Cantata for Christmas. Can we do it in a month? Except for a couple of families, the rest of us are a ragtag bunch of untrained voices. We begin practice next Sunday. God help us!

Next Sunday is a big week for the entire Catholic Church with a new translation of the Roman Missal. It is a more accurate translation, words that preserve the original richness and meaning. I was struck by the differences when we first went to the TLM in Seattle. I will never forget that it was the Feast of Christ our King and the prayers I read were so beautiful, truly fit for the King of Kings.

Here is a link to a video that my son watched in school explaining the reason for the change.

I have a grateful heart and am thankful to God for everything -- for family, friends, work and Church. God bless you all. And have a happy Thanksgiving.
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On Mediocre Books

2011-11-15T17:18:00.001-08:00

I was thinking of how a really, really good book makes me feel inadequate as a writer. I keep thinking if I had a fraction of the talent or discipline or perseverance of that author, that I'd be orders of magnitude better. I am simultaneously inspired and defeated. I find myself asking if the world needs another mediocre book written by me.

Then I come across books that are poorly written or don't grab me. I used to finish each and every book I picked up, but no more. I simply do not have the time to waste on books that I don't enjoy. But one of the things that a poorly written book does is boost my self-confidence. If that twaddle could be published, I can definitely write something better and get paid for it.

I'm not going to name books or authors that I do not like because frankly, I do not want to hurt anybody's feelings on what is a very subjective matter, but I was wondering whether others feel the same as I do.

Confess!
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A Dark, Dark House

2011-11-10T10:19:00.000-08:00

When my husband travels, I walk the dog in the evenings as well. Often it gets dark on my way home and let me tell you, it can be rather creepy as I walk towards the house. We are at the end of a dark, dark lane and all the sounds are magnified. I can usually recognize the rustle of leaves as the deer run away. But the worst sound is a low-to-the-ground croaking. I am convinced that's the alligator.

We didn't have any tricksters coming to our house, but this was the pumpkin my daughter carved. The location of our home and Ruth Brown's picture book A Dark, Dark Tale was the inspiration. We love that book, especially the ending. I wish I'd written it. My daughter has a little scene in her dollhouse that reflects it. I discovered it when I was tidying up her room. Yes, these are the hidden treasures of housework.

What books do you not just admire but wish you'd written?

Spill ...

Free Books

2011-11-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

Kristi Holl just posted that Writer's Digest is giving away free writing e-books until Nov. 12th. Go get yours now and read them later. You can read them on your PC if you don't have a Kindle.

Happy reading and writing.
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Requiem Mass

2011-11-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening we had the pleasure to experience the Requiem Mass at Stella Maris. The priest said the names of the dearly departed as the bells were rung. And then the music composed by Gabriel Faure started. Listen to the Introit and Kyrie. Doesn't it just transport you to a more holy and peaceful place?

Although I know that in every Mass, heaven and earth are joined, I feel it down to my bones during High Mass. I can imagine my mother and the brother and grandfather I never met joining in hymns of praise. I long to join them as well. I was especially touched that when we pray the Agnus Dei, we do not ask pardon for ourselves like we usually do, but for eternal peace for the dead.

Twenty five years ago, when I was singing in my college choir, we sang Verdi's Requiem. My mother had just died and I came down with pneumonia the week of the concert. So I went to Spokane on the choir bus and got myself a ticket to sit in the back. It was truly a blessing for me to be sick at that time because I could appreciate better the music for what it was -- a Mass for the dead. And now, as a Catholic, I understand it even more.

If you are interested in the entire text, scroll down at this site.

After Mass, we had a potluck and I'm happy to say I met another fellow children's writer. What joy! A kindred spirit. I hope we can read for each other. I miss the weekly meetings with my writing partner Jen so very much because she always asked me questions and kept me true to my characters.
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Halloween

2011-11-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

We have the perfect Halloween cat sunning herself, the witch-child carving her pumpkin and my husband cooking chicken wings on the baby Green Egg. Sigh of contentment.

As you can see I've been playing around quite a bit with all the blog settings. I think I finally have it at a place where I can leave it alone and just use it for sharing my jumbled thoughts and pictures -- I love the new interface because I can select the size!

Isn't this mossy oak tree marvelous? We have lots of squirrels that distract the dog on her walk. I wonder where the pumpkin will drift to ...

And now I must direct all this energy I have towards my book! Not everything has to be in order.

For those of you who are doing Nano -- may your fingers fly across the keyboard. My shiny new idea needs to percolate some more, gain some structure before I begin to write. I wish I could be like the people who can just write without a roadmap, but the one time I did it, I ended up with a mess that I still don't know what to do with. I need to have a solid structure before I write a single word down.

Happy writing, all.

In Progress

2011-10-31T17:57:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I'm monkeying around. My husband says this is a giant procrastination tool and he's ... right. But I do need to update my website and thought the easiest thing to do would be to transfer some of the stuff to the blog. I'm having a bear of a time copying my book covers and placing them in an aesthetic manner instead of just a row of book covers. So, pardon the mess ... my house is worse, I promise :)

And what of the revisions? I'm having a terrible time immersing myself in the book enough to really write. And I don't trust myself to make the right changes either. It would be so much easier to write a first draft of a book that's been percolating in my head, but I don't want it to be a royal mess like my second book (I still haven't done a thing with it because it lacks the basics -- a strong structural foundation).

What to do? Clean house, monkey around, try to work on revisions and steal time to work on the shiny new idea. Yup, I'm procrastinating.
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A Day at the Market

2011-10-31T10:55:00.000-07:00

We went downtown Charleston for the first time this weekend. Of course, we hit the Saturday market to look at the various arts and crafts. These sweetgrass baskets have got to be my favorite. I see them all along Highway 17 but I've not stopped to examine them. When I was a child, I learned to make baskets from flax, but aside from the basic alternating pattern, I wouldn't know how to make a basket anymore. I am seriously tempted to take a class in basketweaving with sweetgrass.

Local painters. Isn't the blue crab gorgeous? I see these large crabs all over the island and they really are pretty.

This butterfly display was beyond beautiful. They said they only use butterflies that have died naturally. Most live only a few weeks. Long ago I had a poster with all the letters of the alphabet represented in the wings of these loveliest of insects.

Relaxing ... it's windy and chilly even with the sun shining.

Ravenel bridge. It is a modern gem.

Cobblestones. I learned that these came all the way from England. They used them as ballast for the ships and then would dump them in exchange for cargo.

Rutledge: One of the signers of the Declaration of Independence! I can't wait until I can go on some proper tours and soak up all this history.

We went to the evening Mass at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist. So grand and beautiful. I would like to come here for a big feast day when they have a full choir. There are lots coming up. But this week we will celebrate High Mass at Stella Maris for All Souls Day.

I love the beautiful artwork. It lifts my spirits high, towards the holy. I remember being in Rome at a time when I professed to be an atheist and yet I fell to my knees when I saw the Pieta. I have been accused of being the world's worst atheist by my friend Molly, but I think great art points to Truth.

Do churches fund artists and artwork anymore? Throughout history the Catholic Church has supported artists for music and paintings and even books. I would love to see that again.

Revising

2011-10-25T16:20:00.001-07:00

I wish I could say that I were revising like a madwoman, but the truth is, I'm only doing a little bit. Writing new scenes in my notebook, making some minor changes for clarity, but mostly getting to inhabit my characters again. I see three or four big things I need to change, and although I would've tackled the big things first because they involve some structural changes, I find that too daunting to do right now. It's easier to focus on the smaller things. I still have a household to finish organizing (because we have too much stuff) and what's really dumb is that I actually want something -- like a swing-bed for the back porch! Talk about being extravagant, but like my manuscript, it's a big thing and I'm not even going to think about tackling it. I'm doing the small things -- tidying up a corner, reorganizing the kitchen so that everything I need is within reach, etc.

When I was at Ruth Schiffman's blog, I came across a very helpful article on revising. Having seen La Buffadora in Mexico myself, I connected with the analogy immediately. The idea is that you let your analytical mind take turns with your emotional side so that when you are revising, you are again in that zone of wanting to tell the story. The author, James Scott Bell (author of Plot and Structure and many other books), says far more than that, but this is what I realize is missing in the way I'm attempting to do my revisions. Too clinical. No heart. Just a faint pulse. Onwards.

Today, help arrived in the way of Second Sight by Cheryl Klein. I already want to sit down and scribble down some things in my notebook in response to some of the questions she poses. I have enjoyed the books she has edited immensely and have read her blog on a regular basis, so I am thrilled to have this book, to have her talks all in one place, to help untangle some of the spaghetti mess in my head. What's funny is that even though I've never met her, it's like curling up with a good friend to talk about books we love.

Here's my cat sitting on the hard copy of my WIP, chirping at a bird that makes its home on the oak right outside my window. As you can see, my feline writing partner plants herself exactly where my attention is, and meows at the appropriate times.

Do you have favorite revision tools? Do share.

Reading

2011-10-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Growing up, history was my least favorite subject, yet, now I am hungry to learn all that I missed. I've been reading books on the history of Charleston and Daniel Island, but the best book so far has been Bury Me Not in a Land of Slaves by Joyce Hansen. And wouldn't you know it -- it's a children's book.

Ms. Hansen brings to life this period of Reconstruction of the South through the former slaves' own voices and adding historical context. You begin to see that freedom and equality were destroyed by violence and laws that oppressed the newly freed slaves.

But courageous African men and women persevered and of many we get a glimpse through the brief biographies that Ms. Hansen provides. The narrative is peppered with photographs and drawings and quotes of the time. It is sure to pique any child's interest to learn more about this hopeful and tragic period in our history. This is what I love about children's books.

The abolition of slavery makes me hopeful that one day we as a nation will also bring an end to abortion. Pray, pray, pray to stop the assault on our most vulnerable and defenseless members of society.

Thank you, Joyce, for this gift.

A is for Alligators ... Pictures :)

2011-10-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

They do, indeed!

I see lots of pretty Halloween decorations. I am more in favor of the harvest variety (pumpkins, hay, etc.) than ghouls and goblins, but I was charmed by this little broom amidst the pansies.

Have a good day, y'all. Time for me to put in that promised hour on the book.

A is for Alligator

2011-10-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Pardon me if I can't stop talking about the alligators here. I'm still a transplant and am fascinated and a little bit frightened by these creatures. Yesterday my dog jumped into the pond and got chased by a five-foot gator. Boy do they swim fast! Then he lay in wait by the cattails as I put the lead back on. No more off-leash work with the dog (since she was so very disobedient and almost got eaten by a gator).

I should've taken my camera with me this morning because I saw a mama and ten babies sunning themselves near the banks of the pond. Temperatures have dropped (it is balmy and reminds me of Seattle summers) but gators are cold-blooded so they love to bask in the sunshine. What's odd as I circled the pond is that the dog doesn't see them at all, even when they slither into the water, making a few ripples. They are lovely to watch as they swim swiftly to the other side and look rather evil when they are still in the water with only the top of their heads poking out, just waiting ... waiting ... for a fish or a silly dog to jump in.

Here's a great link if you want to read something about alligators. And Guji Guji is a darling picture book that I couldn't bear to part with when we moved. I need to pull it out and read it again. It's about a family of ducks that has the odd egg that hatches into an odd creature. If you guessed gator, you're correct.

I have started reading and making notes on my novel. What's funny is that at the really good parts, I think, I wrote that? Wow! Then when I get to the crummy parts, the red pen comes out and I scribble away. I already know how I want to change the beginning so that I don't spool out the plot threads all at once. Jay Asher had given a great talk a couple of years ago on maintaining suspense and the trick is to have the highs and lows of the different plot threads weave in and out so that it's not all gasping action and then a lull. The pacing is too fast in the beginning of my book. I need to slow it down and trust my reader to stick with me.

I spend an hour a day. It is enough. I just hope I can continue.
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Settling In

2011-09-30T08:44:00.001-07:00

Life is good. This is the view when I go on my walks. Clear, blue skies, magnificent oaks, squirrels to distract the dog, anthills, marshes, flying fish and even alligators. Today I saw a baby (not sure -- it was about 1-2 ft long) sunning itself by one of the ponds. It crawled into the water and kept watch. Once my eyes adjusted, I saw three more alligators in the pond and a few turtles too. We watched each other :)

I love coming home to vibrant milkweed and daisies planted by the side of our house. So pretty. Lots of butterflies and birds too.

All these pictures up above were taken by my daughter. She's getting good, no? My son isn't the only one with a good eye.

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We had such a fun time at the pumpkin patch last weekend -- hay rides, corn maze (hard to believe how tall the corn was), giant jumping pillow and gloriously orange pumpkins. We need to get some to decorate our front porch.

We are so blessed to have the final assembly for the Boeing 787 here in Charleston. Everyone here is so pleased to have the factory here as well because a big company like Boeing helps develop a lot of the supporting industry in the area.

This is my office (finally a room of my own!) and although there are plenty of boxes still left to be unpacked, I have all the important stuff -- my novel, my laptop, space and time. It's been two long months since I touched it and I will begin next week, if only to read and make notes. My goal is to get is polished to send it out by the end of the year.

The dog has a bed beneath my desk and she's sleeping there as I write this post. My old black cat hasn't yet discovered the blanket yet. She's meowing upstairs.

Can you give me tips on how best to dive back into writing and revising while there is still a ton of household stuff to be taken care of? Am I crazy to try to attempt this or should I just let it be until I can spend a couple of hours on it daily? It's probably going to take me another month to get settled enough where I'm not worried about lost school forms and what else did I forget to do. What do you do to get back into your work after a long hiatus and how do you write when life is still chaotic? I'm all ears.

Moving In

2011-09-20T08:16:00.001-07:00

It seems that every time we've moved, we have accumulated more stuff than what we've given away. We're finally in our new home and now the real work of making this house into a home begins. I had complained to Marcia H. that I had a month when we were pretty much living out of a suitcase in an apartment, that I was squandering the free time I had instead of diving into revisions, and she was spot on in her reason -- we'd be moving again -- and my brain knew it.

We moved into our semi-permanent home this weekend and I've been trying to get the kitchen set up, with space for the children to do their schoolwork. It's box-city though and very messy. I cannot write like this at all, and although I want to, I simply cannot focus. The priority is to get the house in order. I wish it would all happen magically, but there is joy in seeing gradual progress.

I take the dog out for long walks. It is beautiful here, with trails and paths and ponds. This morning we explored a marshy area by the Wando river and the dog kept snapping at the fiddler crabs. I'm surprised she's not gotten pinched yet. I take my breaks on the back porch. This is the view. A piece of heaven, no? It is quiet and I love listening to the bugs and birds chirp. I see eagles and vultures soaring up above.

The previous owners left this little Manneken Pis statue. My daughter thinks it's disgusting, but we lived in Belgium for a few years so I have a soft spot for this little boy.

So, there you go. I took a longish break for this post, and I must get back to my boxes. Pray that we get settled soon, so that I can get back to my writing.

The Lord's Prayer in Aramaic -- Again

2011-09-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I get a lot of people visiting here who are interested in the Lord's Prayer in Aramaic. As much as I loved the song, the translation that I pulled off the website is incorrect. I didn't realize this, but apparently there are several lovely (mis)translations floating around on the Internet. I should've done my research before posting, but better late than never. I will be deleting my previous post on the Lord's Prayer.

If you scroll near the end of this post, you will see a translation by Steve Caruso, a scholar, and I urge you to read the entire text.

As you will see, what we pray in English is good and well.

I am sorry to spread bad information, but I hope I have redeemed myself.

To a commenter who was interested in Aramaic, I hope you are reading this, and find the links useful.

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Warm Water

2011-09-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

I couldn't get over how warm the ocean was. They said 80 degrees. Felt wonderful. We were in there for a couple of hours just before high tide and the sound of waves crashing and engulfing us much too quickly was sheer delight. My memories of being in lakes and rivers and the Pacific ocean are not associated with warmth. Only cold. We'd go camping and after 2-3 days feel so grubby, we just have to walk into the icy waters. Refreshing. And then towelling off quickly and sitting by the fire to get the blood circulating again.

Here, I didn't even realize how hot my skin was until after we came home. The kids and I are turning into toasty little brownies. My husband, alas, is turning pink. If it hadn't been for him, we'd have gotten sunburned as well. But he made all three of us get out because he didn't want us to burn. I'm thankful for that.

Can you believe that my kiddos were as far out as my husband even though this was their first time to be in the Atlantic? The waves were way over their heads. We swallowed plenty of salt-water. The good thing is that whatever bug my son was just beginning to harbor in his sinuses is gone!

We definitely need to join a swim club so that we can become better swimmers and ride those waves.

I hope you all had a restful Labor Day and had some fun too.

A Photo Journey -- Part One

2011-08-29T10:27:00.001-07:00

The empty house ... it was our home for seven wonderful years. But it's time to move on ... Someone else will make this their home and we wish them all the blessings that we've had and more.

The Toyota gets picked up, since we'll all be in the minivan.

My husband, who did the bulk of the driving. Bless his soul.

The kids -- full of excitement and adventure.

This next picture is actually in Yellowstone of the Tower ... that's where we went after the stinky mudpots and geysers ...

On the way to Yellowstone, there was a spectacular thunderstorm.

Finally, we got to Yellowstone. What a gorgeous place, yet it makes me think I'm getting a taste (or stench) of hell. Some of the most fascinating bacteria are found in here -- the Archae. I wrote about these critters in Odyssey and the whole time I was researching them, I wished I were back in the lab, figuring out how their cell membranes withstand such heat, what kinds of pumps they have to live in such inhospitable conditions. Both my son and I felt just a little bit sick after breathing all the sulfurous gases emanating from the earth.

Old Faithful ...

Just one of the many serene valleys in Yellowstone.

After Yellowstone, we crossed two mountain passes. Beautiful and desolate.

We even saw real cowboys in this high desert country in Wyoming.

We saw many bikers on the road ...

Sturgis anyone?

A Photo Journey -- Part Two

2011-08-29T08:04:00.001-07:00

My Internet connection is great today, so I thought I'd post some pictures of our journey. It's already getting too long, so I'll post the pictures from the first part of our journey later.

At Mount Rushmore. The man who took our picture gave his big camera to my son to take their picture. He was so pleased. I know one day he'd love to have a digital SLR. Me, I'm happy with the point and shoot.

Two crosses -- a copper one for my daughter and a Black Hills gold one for me. Years ago, my husband had bought a leaf pendant, but I have since lost it.

I have a thing for bridges and tunnels.

One of my daughter's drawings. Not bad for being in a moving vehicle.

The Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD. This state has so many cool places to explore. Next time, we'll come with a camper.

We didn't take any pictures for almost a thousand miles even though we were visiting family and friends. We'd put in a couple of l-o-n-g driving days and were just grateful to not be in our van. I remember how hard it was trying to find a room because of all the motorcycle riders going upto Sturgis for the weekend. Many hotels do not take pets and we had two. One lady made an exception for us in Sioux Falls, SD, and were we relieved to finally crawl into bed close to midnight. The next morning was Sunday, so we went to early morning Mass at the Cathedral. I wish I'd had my camera. Such a gorgeous Church.

Our first visit to Tennessee. So beautiful in these Smokey mountains. We'll be back!

My tired family. We covered 3,000 miles in eight days. Almost there ...

Getting settled in our apartment. The dog ate all the cat food, so now the cat gets to chow down on the kitchen counter. Some of you know that we had to give away our kittens -- we couldn't find temporary accommodations that would accept four pets. It was heart-breaking, but the kittens have a good home.

What a treat to have an outdoor swimming pool where the water is warm, almost like bathwater.

So nice to stroll here after Mass.

The kids are back in school. Don't they look smart in their brand-spanking new uniforms? On Weds. there is Mass so the boys wear a tie. This school reminds me of my old Convent school (minus the nuns) with their greater discipline.

I suppose I should get back to working on my novel now, right? It's been over a month since I touched it, and I've run out of excuses.

Welcome to SC

2011-08-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

Our Internet connection is very slow, hence my relative quietness online. But I am bursting to share so many things. Patience, patience. I'm trying to cultivate it.

Before we left Redmond (WA), I had joked that a hurricane will surely come once we buy a house, and wash it away, just to test our faith. I DID NOT MEAN IT. I couldn't believe the news when I learned that a hurricane the size of Europe was coming our way. I was so grateful that all we got was high wind and rain and some damage in coastal SC. But now I am praying for the people in the North.

The satellite images are so beautiful, with the swirling mass. And I am reminded we are nothing, absolutely nothing, without God. His power are beauty are wondrous. Here are a couple of pictures that my son took while we took a walk near our apartment Friday night. Rainbows are a promise.

Stay safe, all of you in the path of Irene.
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Two Beaches

2011-08-15T18:41:00.000-07:00

We celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary yesterday by going to Latin Mass at Stella Maris on Sullivan's Island, SC, taking a walk along the rocks and beaches at Fort Moultrie and then having a fabulous dinner at Station 22. We had our kids with us and my son took this picture, with that amazing suspension bridge in the background (it connects Charleston to Mt. Pleasant).

Coincidentally, the homily was about finding home, how we're all on a journey until we are at eternal rest. But I felt right at home here, esp. at Church. I am so thankful that God opened this door for us, and thankful He gave us the courage to step out in faith and trust as He leads us.

Many of you know that we've been travelling, moving coast to coast. It's been an incredible journey and I hope to post pictures once we are settled. We've been getting the children ready for school and we still need to find long-term housing, so you can imagine the chaos.

Seventeen years ago, we were married on the beach in Oak Harbor, WA. It was a beautiful day, but the water was cold, as it always is on the Pacific NW. We vowed to be together, through thick and thin, and I still marvel that I can love my husband more now than I did 27 years ago. I had no clue back then. God is good.

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Reading

2011-07-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

I stay up late reading because I am trying to finish these books before I have to turn them in at the library. I estimate I have a week or so. Two new books arrived but I haven't had a chance to go get them. My son pleaded to go tonight. Tomorrow, I promised him.

But let me share these gems.

The Literary Ladies' Guide to the Writing Life by Nava Atlas. This is not just a pretty book (it has lovely interiors -- go check it out) but I feel as though I have Jane Austen, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Willa Cather and many more writers in my home sharing their dreams, their joys, their frustrations of the writing life. I already have loved many of their works, but this gives an intimate portrayal through diaries and letters. Atlas also shares many quotes from other women writers. Enjoy this gorgeous book. It's one you'll come to often.

I wanted to share just one quote but it's so hard to pick one. There are gems sprinkled throughout. So I'll give you a flavor:

Nava Atals writes: Though it's never easy, it's good to know that women can rock the cradle with one hand and rock the world with the other. She is speaking of Stowe who had a large family (seven children). It was the death of her child that compelled her to write Uncle Tom's Cabin. Stowe says: I wrote what I did because as a woman, as a mother, I was oppressed and broken-hearted with the sorrows and injustices I saw.

In a letter to her husband (1841), Stowe writes: If I am to write, I must have a room to myself, which shall be my room ... Sound familiar? It's before Virginia Woolf said, a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.

In another letter to her sister-in-law (1850) we get a glimpse of her life. She writes: Since I began this note I have been called off at least a dozen times -- once for the fish-man, to buy a codfish -- once to see a man who had brought me some baskets of apples -- once to see a book man ... then to nurse the baby -- then into the kitchen to make a chowder for dinner and now I am at it again for nothing but deadly determination enables me to ever write -- it is rowing against wind and tide.

Are you ready to run and get this book?

I'm just finished a lovely little book by Ruth White: Little Audrey. I was in search of another book by her but found this on the shelf. It's largely autobiographical, told from her oldest sister's viewpoint, of a time of great hardship in her family, with an alcoholic father, a depressed mother, and her sisters whom she refers to as "three little piggies." Despite the poverty and sadness, White shares the joy and happiness as well. I laughed at all of Virgil's monkey jokes. The setting is the coal camp in Jewell Valley, Virginia 1948.

What gems are you reading right now?

Summer Memories

2011-07-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

My children had a lovely week with their grandparents and cousins. They worked hard and played hard. And went on long walks and enjoyed all of God's creation, from the blades of grass, the beetles, to soaring eagles.

We'll miss our family and friends here most of all.

New Notebooks and Slippers and Hair ...

2011-07-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

I adore new notebooks. Isn't this a beauty? My dear friends, Allyson, Jen and Lois, met me Sunday after Church for coffee and I will treasure it always and our time together here. We've grown so much, shared a lot of love and laughter, stories that made us laugh and cry. I've already written a few words in this gorgeous notebook after theirs, but I am saving it for when we hit the road. I'm going to fill it with my observations and thoughts as we travel across the country from the Pacific NW to South Carolina, our new home.

Years ago I would've been intimidated to write in it. In fact, my husband got me a leather covered notebook ten years ago when I said I was a writer, but I was terribly constipated when I put my pen to it. No thoughts were good enough to go in there. I wrote in my old biochemistry notebook and after it was finished, began writing in cheap composition notebooks. Five years later, we were on a camping trip and I filled up the leather-bound notebook with all our summer madness. This weekend I threw out ten years worth of notebooks that I scribbled all sorts of thoughts in. I'd finish one and toss it into my filing cabinet, eager to start a new one.

I'm purging. I have given away over half of our home library, thrown out all the stories and rejections letters. I've only saved a few special rejection letters and stories that need to be sent out. They're good! How could I give up after a single rejection? But new ideas took shape and the old ones were abandoned.

Here I am with a new pair of slippers that my daughter's friend's grandmother knitted. I love them for I have cold feet. I have a new haircut, but you wouldn't know. I lopped off nearly a foot. I have some gray but the hairdresser said they can still use my hair for Locks of Love. My braid was skinny. But the curls upon my head are cute even if they're unruly. Perfect for hot summer days.

I'm diving into Southern fiction. I've already read many classics from Flannery O'Connor, Mark Twain, Carson McCullers, etc. but I'm discovering new voices like Kimberly Willis Holt, Russ Nelson and Han Nolan. Loving it. If you can recommend more children's authors who write contemporary Southern fiction, I'd be much obliged.
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Reading

2011-07-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot of great books and wanted to share a few:

Sowing Seeds: Writing for the Christian Children's Market by Kathleen M. Muldoon. This is a great gift and must for Christian writers. Kathleen writes as though she's holding your hand throughout, making the challenge less intimidating. She covers the various types of writing in an organized manner. Even if you are a veteran writer, pick up this book if you want to expand into the world of children's Christian writing. Pair it with Sally Stuart's Christian Writers' Market Guide.

The End of the Line by Angela Cerrito. Although you know what the kid did (murder) from the very beginning, the story of how all this came to be is gripping. Told in alternating present and past chapters, Angela weaves a story of downfall and redemption.

Baseball Crazy: Ten Short Stories That Cover All The Bases edited by Nancy Mercado. I thoroughly enjoyed these stories and they've been a great inspiration as I let my baseball stories percolate.

Cyberia by Chris Lynch. This is a fun middle-grade story set in the future about a boy who has to save the animals. It will make kids think about technology in a whole new way.

The Aquinas Catechism: A Simple Explanation of the Catholic Faith by the Church's Greatest Theologian by Saint Thomas Aquinas. Reading books like these deepens my faith. This is a wonderful book for any Christian trying to understand their beliefs (Creed), how they should pray (Lord's Prayer) and how they should live (Ten Commandments). Wonderful teaching tool as well.

I'd like to end with this incredible video about a priest who brings out Jesus into the public square. He tells how Jesus is in every book of the Bible. Amen!
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A Tag

2011-06-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

Amy at the Green Bathtub tagged me:

Are you hot?

My husband says so :)

Upload a picture or wall paper you are using at the moment.

My son took this picture and I love it because it reminds me of the Holy Spirit.

When was the last time you ate chicken meat?

This evening after a lovely day at the zoo, I had a chicken sandwich with bacon, lettuce, tomato and guacamole. Yum.

Songs you listened to recently?

Jesus My Lord, My God, My All

Divine Mercy Chaplet

What were you thinking as you were doing this?

How grateful I am that the Lord gave Himself to us in the Eucharist. Tomorrow is the feast of Corpus Christi, where we celebrate the Body of Christ that is consecrated during Mass. I blogged about it here.

Do you have nicknames?

Oh, yes. My brother is responsible for them. In fact, I don't recall knowing my real name until I went to school because I was always called Winkie, Venkat, or Venkatli at home. The only nickname that has survived is Winkie, though when I visit my brother he often refers to me as Venkat.

Tag eight blogger friends.

Boy, this is hard. Most folks have already played. If you haven't and want to play, consider yourself tagged.

Reading

2011-06-17T20:32:00.001-07:00

Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth. Matt. 6:3

My 12-year-old son just finished his first adult novel based on the passage above: Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd C. Douglas. It was the first adult book that I read as well, at age 12, so we had a great long talk about it and I told him he is free to read any of Douglas' books. I have most of them -- some are actually my mother's old and tattered copies. Just fingering them, and seeing how she underlined some of the text brought tears to my eyes.

I wanted to share Adventures in Two Worlds by A. J. Cronin next, since he is another one of my heros. Actually he planted the seed to become a writer since he was a physician-turned-writer. I thought I'd be a grandmother before I'd pen any books, but I'm delighted I didn't wait. But my copy is missing. I don't remember whether someone borrowed it or if it's just misplaced it, even though I have all my fiction in alphabetical order by author.

I thought this book was out of print, but I see that it's been reprinted. I no longer have to fret over my missing copy. Hooray!

I love passing on my mother's legacy. These books changed my life and for the better. Even though I have shared many books from my childhood with my children, I don't know why MO makes me feel like we've reached a milestone. There is no celebration per se, but my heart is full.

The End

2011-06-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

It's not just the end of the regular baseball season, but also the first big revision on my novel. This time round, I paid attention to structure and pacing and plotting. There are several things I wanted to have happen, but I know my characters better and know they wouldn't do certain things. My critique partner, Jen, was always good about catching them. Some events I made happen by changing the circumstances or raising the stakes. The major events remained the same, but this draft is so much truer to the characters. More organic. I can imagine the lives of these characters well beyond the "The End."

I have loved revising this book and can't wait to revise on a micro-level with language, word choice. I can already see that I need to add more interior thoughts, but I am going to let it rest and ruminate a while. I also discovered that although I began writing this book with one idea in my mind, it is about something deeper, which I wouldn't have understood had I not written the book. I wonder what I'll discover in subsequent revisions.

In the meantime, it's time to pen some of those baseball shorts. I've got half a dozen stories that have been percolating for several years now and methinks it's time to Play Ball!

About the scores: we won the league championship but not the city one. What a great season. I am so proud of my son for playing all these years even though he takes after me (the non-athletic parent). He's had a great time and improved so much and he sure has a good time out there. Just as his Little League career is getting over, my daughter has begun hers. Fun, fun, fun. Perhaps my son will umpire with his dad.

Endings are always the beginnings of something new.

My children will agree. School's out. Summer's here.
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The Ordination and First Mass

2011-06-12T23:24:00.001-07:00

This was a very special weekend, not just because it was the feast of Pentecost, the birthday of the Church, but also because five new men joined the royal priesthood. We are so blessed to be able to attend. Here is Dwight Peter Lewis, entering the sanctuary of St. James Cathedral.

The heart of the ceremony is the laying on of hands. The bishop anoints the hands and blesses the men and the priests in attendance (over a hundred?) shower their blessings upon the newly ordained. The lay faithful pray.

Today, Pentecost Sunday, Father Dwight celebrated his first Mass at St. Charles Borromeo Parish. He said, "If the priest is on fire, the people feel the heat!" Oh, yeah!

Come Holy Spirit! Fill our hearts. Enkindle in us, the fire of Your love.

A head of the household is responsible for his whole family. A priest is responsible for leading his entire flock to God. It's a tough job, often thankless. But if you are called, what will you say?

Thy will be done. Amen!

God bless you always, Father.
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Summer, Finally

2011-06-06T19:08:00.001-07:00

Summer's here! We had a gorgeous weekend filled with baseball, softball, hot dogs and hamburgers, lying in fields like this, soaking up the sunshine.

These are my chives in the garden. I won't post a picture of my sad tomatoes. They'll start shooting up if it stays nice and warm.

And lilacs. I picked these to keep in the kitchen and the kittens have been munching on the leaves. They are soooo naughty. They were climbing the screen trying to get to the fuzzy, buzzy bees. Wonderful sound.

For three days in a row I've been able to hang out clothes to dry. They smell absolutely heavenly. See our dog? She's enjoying cooling off in the dirt.

And I'm so close to finishing my revision, I can almost taste the pleasure of typing "The End."

What are you soaking up this June?

Open Door

2011-06-01T17:26:00.001-07:00

Catholic Digest has just published our family's journey to the Catholic Church.

Vivat Jesus!

Memorial Day

2011-05-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

We went to Memorial Day Mass today at Holyrood Cemetery. Archbishop Sartain celebrated Mass and spoke about goodbyes. It means: God be with you.

The first Memorial Day service I went to was in Belgium. We lived for two years there in the Ardennes, while I did my post-doc work at the Max Plank Institute in Cologne, Germany and my husband worked in a machine tool factory in Andenne, Belgium. To see the places where fifty years ago these men and boys lost their lives and to see their graves made me appreciate their tremendous sacrifice. Before, Memorial Day was just a holiday with scant thought to the ones who have died so that we may have the freedom to live according to American ideals.

On the way to the cemetery we prayed the rosary. On the way back, we were listening to Matt Maher's album. And this is what I'm singing tonight: O death, where is your sting?

Listen to this song Christ is Risen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8QVwC6RWUc

God bless our armed forces. God bless America!
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The Owl and the Pussycat

2011-05-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

I just came across this and have to share: http://wimp.com/catowl/

I can't believe May is almost over. I have just three weeks to complete a revision, and get through two ball tournaments, plus end-of-the-year school stuff. I'm looking forward to summer holidays.

But surprise, surprise. I got complimentary copies of Nature Friend, which reprinted my Surprise Squash story. Fun. I have all sorts of short stories bubbling up to the surface, but I have to be content to scribble them in my notebook. Novel revisions take priority right now.

Gee, this post feels like I'm telling myself to behave. But then again, I'm glad I give in to temptation sometimes. I just got a check for a shorty short book review to appear in the SCBWI Bulletin at a future date. Magazine writing rocks!

Oh, and anybody else obsessing over the Highlights Fiction Contest?
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Cautionary Tales?

2011-05-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

Alas, I don't have a happy ending to the story unfolding in our backyard. The baby bird fell out of the nest and died. It was such a cutie, too, opening its mouth wide to be fed. I saw Mama making over a dozen trips in just one hour to feed it. I wonder whether the baby got too greedy, or was simply fidgeting.

I suppose we could come up with a cautionary tale about all this, right? PB, anyone.
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Babies and Blossoms in the Backyard

2011-05-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

It's finally spring here, though it's wet and soggy. I want the sunshine to stay now. Of course, the rain makes it easier to stay indoors and write. I'm more than halfway done through my revision and it feels good to be plugging along.

Last month, the dog discovered this abandoned nest in one of the beds. I'm not quite sure what they are -- probably baby rabbits. But the dog would not leave them alone. She'd carry the babies out of the nest, roll them in the grass, and nuzzle them. My daughter ended up tucking the babies back. We finally moved them into the woods.

This month my daughter discovered a junco nest. Last week one of the eggs hatched. Today, the baby bird has some fuzz. You can see the heart beating through the translucent skin. It'll be so fun to watch the babies when they're all fluffed up.

Mama bird wasn't one bit happy about exposing her nest. She'd fly to a nearby branch and scold me. I love these beautiful nests -- it's architecture at its best.

And here are the promised apple blossoms!

Spring -- Life bursting forth!

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Reading

2011-05-03T14:23:00.001-07:00

Ruta Sepetys has written a beautiful and heartbreaking book capturing the journey of a young Lithuanian girl and her family as she experiences Stalin's hell. I was reminded very much of Hitler's regime in the way the Soviets dehumanized the people they tried to obliterate.

I remember when Ruta won the SCBWI WIP grant for Between Shades of Gray and I've been waiting many years to read it. Brava! I am so happy this story is so carefully told, incorporating the memories of family and friends.

My husband is American, but his great- grandparents were Swedish and Lithuanian. He still has family in Sweden, but none that we know of in Lithuania.

Other books I've enjoyed:

Unplanned by Abby Johnson. This is a must read for anybody who is pro-choice. Ms. Johnson shares her journey from being pro-choice to pro-life while working at a Planned Parenthood clinic. What's startling is that many of us will see ourselves in her -- in how we think about women's health and women's rights. Sadly, we forget that God is the author of all life, and we have no right to take it.

Flip by Martyn Bedford. I thoroughly enjoyed this fast-paced book about Alex, a boy who finds himself in another boy's body. We learn along with Alex how this could be possible. And like the good fiction it is, it made me think about many social issues, which I won't say here for fear of spoiling the book.

It's interesting that somehow all three books have to do with life and death, and the dignity of being human.

Happy reading and thinking.

Easter Blessings

2011-05-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

I wish you will have a most blessed and beautiful Easter season. Remember:
And if Christ be not risen again, your faith is vain, for you are yet in your sins. 1 Cor. 15:17

C. S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg - or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us."

Below is a picture from Easter Vigil 2009. My three loves are newly baptized. I will say this day is etched in my memory like my wedding day and the day my children were born. For I was transformed. I will forever be a wife, I will forever be a mother, and I will forever belong to Christ. That is something to celebrate! And we do, each and every Sunday.

Last year, my sister was received into the Church. And this year we went to the entire Triduum Mass together. We split our time between St. Jude and the North American Martyrs Parish. The NAM still does not have a permanent home, so Mass was conducted at Bastyr University. It has a beautiful church. This is one of the windows, showing the apostle Thomas accepting Jesus: My Lord and my God.

Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed." John 20:29

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor 5:7

And what is faith?

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb 1:11

Here are a couple of pictures with my sister. She not only brought some Texas sunshine, she made us a delicious chicken curry, taught my daughter to knit, and shared artsy stuff with my son. We'd stay up late and gab half the night ... we had so much to catch up. Best of all, we got to worship together.

Don't they dress up well?
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Conference Pictures and Notes

2011-04-27T19:23:00.000-07:00

I hope you've had a chance to go through the conference notes that have been posted on the Chinook Update. If you begin here and scroll down, you'll get most everything. So fun to catch up with old friends, Lois Brandt, Jeanie Mebane, and Allyson Shrier.

And it was great to meet the Blueboarders (sorry, no pictures) and see Diana Greenwood modelling her new book, Insight.

I also made a new friend -- Sabah. We had a great time relaxing during the wine and cheese reception and sharing stories about our families.

I do have some writerly thoughts to share :) I went to a nonfiction intensive led by Lionel Bender and Jim Whiting and although I've done a fair bit of work-for-hire, I didn't realize how many books are made by book packagers -- about 30% of the children's market, I believe. So, if you like to work on a team and write market-driven books (fast!) consider not only approaching publishers but also book packagers. Jim's notes are excellent and I enjoyed hearing how Lionel became a book packager.

Deborah Wiles spoke about writing from the head, the heart and the gut -- what you know, what you feel and what you can imagine (or cannot bear to imagine). I went to her workshop on revision and she pointed us to George Ella Lyon's Where am I From? Powerful stuff. Deborah said that when you are stuck, write your own poems like Lyon's because the better you know your own story, the better writer and reviser you will be. Here she is with Peggy (more about her later).

The two agent talks I went to -- Tina Wexler and Sarah Davies -- were both extremely organized and informative about the books they like, including the heart-stopping factor. Years ago Tina (then duBois) had contacted me after I won the YA writing contest, but I was not ready to even think about an agent. I was doing a lot of magazine and work-for-hire and my novels were unpolished. I'm glad I didn't send her anything then. Five years make a difference. And Sarah Davies ought to write a book on writing. She's a marvelous storyteller herself and I found myself thinking of Ian McEwan while she told her grandmother's story. Lucky for us, she keeps a blog where she shares her knowledge unstintingly.

I loved Holly Black's keynote on plotting. She was funny and I saw how useful it is to *talk* out a novel. I'd never done this until my recent one and it's the best one so far because my partner, Jen Heger, keeps me honest. "Nah," she'll say, "your character wouldn't do that." Holly also talked about weaving subplots and it was great fun to have a demo together with Holly and E. Lockhart on a dragon story. Good stuff.

Dan Santat was so honest and vulnerable. He made us all cry. I see so many parallels between him and my son, who loves art. And here I am, the typical immigrant parent, thinking, he needs to have something practical to fall back upon. I truly hope that I'm the kind of mother who will nurture his talents. My sister and I were talking about this very topic, and how both of us gravitated towards the arts, even though we were the practical sort (out of necessity, of course). Follow your heart, your calling.

I was beyond thrilled to see Peggy King Anderson recognized for her years and years of hard work and dedication and nurturing writers. She was my first writing teacher and she told me very early on that I was a novelist hiding behind the short story. She's right. There are some stories you simply cannot fit into the short form, and so I am learning to write bigger books. She has taught me so much and I will always be grateful for all she's done for me. It was lovely to go to Palm Sunday Mass with her right after the conference; the perfect way to end the conference, bringing the focus back to Jesus, His Passion and why I am here in the first place. I missed saying goodbye to many folks, but we really did have to shoot out of there after Holly's keynote.

I could write loads more; I have an entire notebook filled with my chicken scratch, but I'm sure you've had enough. I'm so blessed to be part of such a vibrant regional SCBWI chapter. Thank you all for your hard work in making the conference such a wonderful experience.

Conference Notes

2011-04-17T21:00:00.001-07:00

Our SCBWI chapter is so organized ... I was going to post a few things tonight but the Chinook Update is on top of everything. Read and enjoy. I'll be back later ... I'm so energized I have to write! It's been three days since I worked on my revision and I have several shiny tools in my writing shed I want to try out. Adios, friends. *

Exciting Weekend Ahead

2011-04-14T20:39:00.001-07:00

Conference time! Our local SCBWI chapter rocks. So fun to meet with friends I've made on the Blueboard. We'll be meeting again: at Desert Fire 5:30 pm Friday. If you're in the area, feel free to join us. You don't need to be registered for the conference for this.

Here's my first writing teacher, Peggy King Anderson, and me. If you haven't taken a class from her, you're missing out. Check out her newly designed website. It's got bells and whistles and great writing tips.

I found the cutest website about Writers and Kitties. Check it out.

I'm all set for a weekend of inspiration and learning and getting together with old friends and new. See you there!

Reading

2011-04-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

We're halfway through Lent. I fail daily at keeping my resolutions, but I pick myself up and try harder again. Developing good habits takes time and I although I feel like this cat some days, most days, I am happy to spend greater time with our Blessed Lord. Today I am giving in to temptation so that I can share all the great books I've been reading.

I loved Home is with Our Family by Joyce Hansen because it so vividly portrays family life at a time that I don't know much about. My kids soaked up all the details of how school was conducted. And I thoroughly enjoyed reading a book about black Americans who were relatively well-off and who did not have a dysfunctional family. The illustrations by E.B. Lewis are gorgeous. It's a beautiful book to read.

Long after I closed this book, I wondered how Maria and her family fared in the Midwest, and whether Anna and Maria were able to keep in touch. Their homes, gone, replaced by Central Park. Hansen is unsentimental, letting us into the hearts of her characters.

I thoroughly enjoyed Moon Over Manifest by Claire Vanderpool, taking me into two times and places, and again, what it means to be a family. I loved the way Vanderpool peeled the layers of this onion to reveal the hearts of the characters, the mystery I never suspected.

Book of the Maidservant by Rebecca Barnhouse was sheer delight. It's based upon the pilgrimage of Margery Kempe from England to Rome, but from the viewpoint of her maidservant, who Margery described in her autobiography as disobedient. Again, the details of their lives on the road with their fellow-travelers created a picture for me that I will not forget soon.

As you can see, I enjoy historical fiction very much and I must admit that I've learned more history by reading historical fiction than dry history books. Oh, there are some exceptional authors I've read, like Steven Ambrose or David Halberstam, but I'm afraid the vast majority of history books do not appeal to me.

Other books I've enjoyed are the Latin-English Missal, since we try to go to High Mass at least once a month. There is so much Beauty and Sacred Tradition that I didn't know I was even missing. We will probably invest in the 1962 Daily Missal eventually.

In The Seven Capital Sins, Fulton Sheen reflects upon the seven Words of Christ and correlates them to the reparation of the seven sins. In our culture, the idea of sin has practically vanished in the name of tolerance, so this slim book is a must.

I've also been enjoying Word Work: Surviving and Thriving as a Writer by Bruce Holland Rogers. It is not a book about the craft of writing, but about becoming and staying a writer. I highly recommend it.

My reading pile is ever growing ... I can't wait to get my copy Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys and The End of the Line by Angela Cerritos. My own writing is going well too -- I'm now revising the second half of my book.

I hope you have all found something in here that piques your interest, and I hope you will continue to have a blessed Lent.

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The Universal Prayer

2011-03-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

This is too beautiful not to share. I came across this on the ADW blog.
I shall be praying this with my family daily and ask that you join me.

God bless you this Lenten season.

Your sister in Christ, Vijaya.

THE UNIVERSAL PRAYER (attributed to Pope Clement XI)

Lord, I believe in you: increase my faith.

I trust in you: strengthen my trust.

I love you: let me love you more and more.

I am sorry for my sins: deepen my sorrow.

I worship you as my first beginning,

I long for you as my last end,

I praise you as my constant helper,

And call on you as my loving protector.

Guide me by your wisdom,

Correct me with your justice,

Comfort me with your mercy,

Protect me with your power.

I offer you, Lord, my thoughts:

to be fixed on you;

My words: to have you for their theme;

My actions: to reflect my love for you;

My sufferings: to be endured for your greater glory.

I want to do what you ask of me:

In the way you ask,

For as long as you ask,

Because you ask it.

Lord, enlighten my understanding,

Strengthen my will,

Purify my heart,

and make me holy.

Help me to repent of my past sins

And to resist temptation in the future.

Help me to rise above my human weaknesses

And to grow stronger as a Christian.

Let me love you, my Lord and my God,

And see myself as I really am:

A pilgrim in this world,

A Christian called to respect and love

All whose lives I touch,

Those under my authority,

My friends and my enemies.

Help me to conquer anger with gentleness,

Greed by generosity,Apathy by fervor.

Help me to forget myself

And reach out toward others.

Make me prudent in planning,

Courageous in taking risks.

Make me patient in suffering,

unassuming in prosperity.

Keep me, Lord, attentive at prayer,

Temperate in food and drink,

Diligent in my work,

Firm in my good intentions.

Let my conscience be clear,

My conduct without fault,

My speech blameless,

My life well-ordered.

Put me on guard against my human weaknesses.

Let me cherish your love for me,

Keep your law,

And come at last to your salvation.

Teach me to realize that this world is passing,

That my true future is the happiness of heaven,

That life on earth is short,

And the life to come eternal.

Help me to prepare for death

With a proper fear of judgment,

But a greater trust in your goodness.

Lead me safely through death

To the endless joy of heaven.

Grant this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

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Death

2011-03-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

I have not wanted to write about this. In the past three months four people we know have died. Two were older, two younger. We have been praying for them, and we pray for them still, and their families who grieve. It is a sad time to say goodbye to loved ones.

But it's also a wake up call. Am I living as I should? Am I looking to the eternal consequences of my actions? Or am I concerned with things that will not last? Because in the end, the only thing we can take to the next life is our character.

The Lenten season is approaching and we've been reading the Sermon on the Mount these past few weeks in Church. What Jesus talks about is difficult, but it is the path to holiness, to being a light.

Here's a link to the best version of This Little Light of Mine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlqlZ1Y8ONQ&feature=player_embedded#at=11

Enjoy.
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Carpe Diem

2011-02-27T23:57:00.000-08:00

This month is coming to an end, and so are the mid-winter breaks for the children. Baseball season is starting up, which means lots of running about not only for the kids, but for us. But we've had snow and presents in the mail. I won Marcia Hoehne's book giveaway (Moon over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool) and wouldn't you know it, my son nabbed it right away ... I let him because I had lessons to correct, but it's all mine now!

Enjoy these snippets of winter fun from this weekend at the grandparents' home. They hardly ever get snow like this, so this was a treat for the whole family, including the dog.

Here's a video clip. I love my wee little camera that can do all this and still fit in my pocket.

I hope you are all enjoying yourselves, whatever the weather is. As for me, it's time to buckle down and work until Spring Break.

Snow Days!

2011-02-23T12:15:00.001-08:00

These pictures are a couple of years old, but it's looking a lot like this right now (though not as cold). It couldn't be better timing since the kids have midwinter break. The snow is melting fast, but another wave is beginning as I write this post. I love this time of the year because the tree frogs begin to sing and the hyacinths poke their heads out of the ground, and I always remember how it was twelve years ago, waiting for my first baby to be born. Time flies ...

Don't you love my crooked filbert? It always fascinates me how the branches curl -- this plant really comes into its full glory once the leaves fall off.

The kids are busy playing outside, I'm deep in revisionland, the progress slow and steady. A lamb stew is simmering in my crock pot. My health is incredibly good, just in time for baseball season to begin. I'm full of thanks and praise to God.

Have a beautiful day today.
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ETA -- My husband just came back from work and says our hill is the only one with snow. Strange how localized the weather can be.

On Children

2011-02-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

Below is my favorite poem about children from "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran. I didn't understand it until my children were baptized ... there they are with their father (also newly baptized), their sponsors, the priest, the choir in the back, and all the faithful gathered at Easter vigil 2009.

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,

Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you, but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies, but not souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

for even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

***

Gifts

2011-02-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

Two unexpected gifts arrived from two different friends. The Christmas blessings overflow. Of course, my kids get first dibs!

I did get to peek inside Home is with our Family by Joyce Hansen and it is beautifully illustrated by E. B. Lewis. My knowledge of American history is very poor and what better way to learn than by reading gripping historical fiction? It's one of my favorite genres because it brings dry facts to life. This book is inspired by the history of Seneca Village.

The other book that arrived in my mailbox was The Land Between: Finding God in Difficult Transitions by Jeff Manion. Last year was a tough year for us, the future uncertain. Fear can grip me at times. I'm learning to replace it with faith. This is a welcome book.

My friend also recommended the book: If You Want to Walk on Water, You've to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg. Don't you just love the title? I'll be picking that up too.

I am so blessed to have my faith journey supported by friends who pray for me and find just the right books to sustain me. Thank you!

A Wacky Week

2011-01-28T13:55:00.000-08:00

I love working from home because it is so wonderful to be flexible. I can be home with my family. I can get the housework done when I take breaks. But it has its drawbacks as well. Too many interruptions. People often think you are not working, that you are free to take on other responsibilities. And as my health as been improving, I am taking on more and more. It feels good to have the old energy back, not be in constant pain, be able to do more ... but I was unprepared this week for sick children and strange school schedules. I wish we could simply have the week off.

Thankfully, this week is almost over and my son, who could barely speak is now talking back. It's not Strep, just some viral thing which will take its own course. He's catching up on homework, as I write this. My student lessons are corrected. My family is fed, watered, walked and brushed. I've been staying up very late to write and I'm feeling the strain but I get so much pleasure from working on my book.

The end of January also brings on the cyclic grief over the death of my mother. It's been 25 years and surely she's in heaven by now, but when I look back to those dark, dark days, I know I felt sorry only for myself and for not having loved her enough. The saddest part is that I don't remember praying for her soul, even at her funeral. Watching someone you love die makes your heart ache, yet it is oddly beautiful. Peace radiated from her face as she let go of earthly attachments and started looking toward the Kingdom of God. She spoke of her own father and my older brother, who had died many years prior, and I wondered if they were waiting to receive her and lead her up to stand before God. I could imagine Him saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Best of all, my husband found this wonderful link for Archbishop Fulton Sheen's transcripts for Life is Worth Living. He is a charismatic speaker. We let the kids pick a topic (you have to scroll down to see the list), snuggle with our pets by the fireplace after supper and listen. Of course, nothing can replace a book, but what wealth on the Internet.
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On Breaks, Revisions and a Cracked Pot

2011-01-18T19:23:00.000-08:00

I had a lovely break with my husband's folks this weekend -- got some much needed TLC, a change of scenery, and pace. So relaxing. I brought the kids, the dog, a book I'm reading by Archbishop Fulton Sheen (Your Life is Worth Living: The Christian Philosophy of Life), my notebook, and my first draft of my novel. I forgot all my toiletries, because I was so intent on packing all my medicines. But I did not need them, despite the long drive and rain. I am truly on the mend thanks to all the loving support and prayers and should've had faith!

We left the kitties at home in care of a neighbor. My husband was supposed to come along as well but he had to go to Japan. So he's working long hours, sleeping in a fancy high rise hotel and eating lunch out of bento boxes. He says we'd love it here. And all I can think of is the song from the Chipmunks: Japanese Banana.

So after nearly a two month hiatus, I have begun my revisions on my novel. If I suddenly drop off the blogosphere or the Blueboards, that's why. Although I have 15K revised already, I had to start at the beginning and as always, there are things to fix. Always.

I had much time to think and reflect and write in my notebook. One thing I am certain of, although I am a very cracked and crooked pot, God can still use me to do His work. I may never hold oil or wine or perfume, but I can hold water and pour it out to a thirsty fellow being. So I pray that the Lord fill me.

Sunday's Mass and readings all felt directed toward this (I always feel this way, but especially so this weekend -- it really did feel like a retreat). I sang Psalm 40 with my entire heart: Here am I, Lord; I come to do your will.

I highly recommend this book ... for Christians and non-Christians alike. Very readable. It's actually a transcript of Fulton Sheen's radio broadcasts.

Feast of the Epiphany

2011-01-06T13:06:00.000-08:00

Today is the Feast of the Three Kings. I know for many Mexican children, this is a little Christmas, but in the tradition of my mother, we shall have a reading, perhaps a cake with a hidden bean. I daren't bake a cake with a doll for fear the doll will melt. I've been known to do very silly things like that.

I have been thinking of all the gifts we've been bestowed with, and the gift of writing is one. Our dreams and deepest desires and what makes us happy and lost in that activity should surely make us realize what we are meant to do. It makes me happy when young people develop their gifts. Recently we were having supper with friends of ours, both their young boys who are applying for medical school. They are called to do this and have already established mobile clinics in poor areas in India. I too, was once passionate like this.

But fear stopped me. When I was a young woman of 21, even though I got into medical school, I rejected that call because the thought of borrowing $100,000 with no buffer just for my education was frightening. I was taught to never borrow money. There was no option to teach part-time. And I hadn't even figured living expenses. I did the more secure thing -- I got a job in research, got my PhD and paid my way by teaching and research assistantships. But I never felt that same calling. And I never did reapply to medical school. And it is one decision that I have regretted because it goes to my very core. I was called to heal. I believe that when you are given a gift, you are obligated to nurture and develop those gifts. I did not, and that is where this regret comes from. I think if I were a Christian back then, and had put all my faith and trust in God, I would've been just fine and God would've provided (maybe I would've learned that it is okay to borrow money and pay it back later).

God is good. He has given me other gifts. The gift to write. And every time I think of letting it pass by, my conscience tells me to not to give up. Now my conscience has been developed by the teachings of the Church, the Bible. I accomplished a tremendous feat last year. I read the entire Bible. Not that I understood it. Hah! I am showing my ignorance here. It is a very difficult set of books to read. Thank goodness we have priests who can interpret many of these stories. Many of the stories I already know well and their meaning is clear. But there are so many I did not even know and there are so many that are downright confusing. God did that? That's not very nice. But throughout my readings, one phrase leapt at me. "Do not fear" or "Fear not" and it is what I needed to hear.

We are all so fond of making New Year's resolutions. I have one writing related goal and that is to finish my novel revision and send it out to my top agent picks. I am not going to let fear stop me. I am going to say "Yes" to God when He calls me to do something in all areas of my life.

On the Blueboards, Anastasia asked what would be our word for the year. There are so many great words I could think of: faith, believe, trust, balance -- oh, there is much to juggle -- mothering, teaching, writing. But after much thinking, I chose the word SURRENDER because I want to surrender to God's will. I want to live my life with no regrets. Be more holy.

How about you? What gifts do you have? What regrets? What is the one thing you would like to change this year? What is your word for this year? Please share.

Here's a page from the January Highlights featuring my talking animal story Teeter-Totter. I hope you get a chance to read it and enjoy it with your own critters. The illustrations by Debbie Palen are darling.

Happy New Year, all. Persevere. And keep your balance!

Feast of the Holy Innocents

2010-12-28T15:44:00.000-08:00

During the Christmas season we like to remember our martyrs, like St. Stephen, who was stoned to death defending Christ. But the first martyrs were children -- the Holy Innocents -- boys under two in Bethlehem who were massacred by Herod because he feared that a future King would supplant him.

Children are especially vulnerable in our society. We fear that they will upset our lives. We are selfish. We want to have sex without consequences. And so a womb becomes a tomb. Let us pray to end abortion.

I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life. Deuteronomy 30:19

What Child Is This?

2010-12-23T21:59:00.000-08:00

I have a collection of Christmas carols and I do enjoy playing the easy versions on the piano as my family gathers around to sing. I'm copying the original words to my favorite hymn, written by William Chatterton Dix (1837-1898). Most of you will recognize this is as the tune to Greensleeves.

What Child is this who, laid to rest

On Mary's lap is sleeping?

Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet,

While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King,

Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;

Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,

The Babe, the Son of Mary.

*
Why lies He in such mean estate,

Where ox and ass are feeding?

Good Christians, fear, for sinners here

The silent Word is pleading.

*
Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,

The cross be borne for me, for you.

Hail, hail the Word made flesh,

The Babe, the Son of Mary.

*
So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,

Come peasant, king to own Him;

The King of kings salvation brings,

Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

*
Raise, raise a song on high,

The virgin sings her lullaby.

Joy, joy for Christ is born,

The Babe, the Son of Mary.

The newer versions all use the second stanza as the refrain. I prefer this original one so much more, with the refrain having different words -- words that portend the ultimate sacrifice as well. I suppose I am an Easter gal even at Christmas ... The three Kings bear the baby Jesus gifts of gold, for the King of Kings, frankincense for the priests of priests and myrrh for the sacrifice to end all sacrifices. How Great is our Lord, who humbles himself to come as an infant, to come and live with us, to die for us, so that we may have eternal life. Come, be merry this Christmas! And God bless you all.

About the photos: The first is a statue that is in St. James Cathedral in Seattle and the second is the Pieta (sorry, but I don't know how to make accents, but it means pity) made by Michelangelo located in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome.
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Follow Your Dreams -- Chautauqua

2010-12-08T13:47:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know, how quickly I break my own promises to not blog ... but this lovely email showed up from Jo Lloyd and I couldn't not share ... because there is an early-bird deadline.

Here is the relevant part:

You may know someone who is hesitating to pursue his or her Chautauqua dream due to finances. The Highlights Foundation offers scholarships and now is the time to find out more.

A lot of children's writers dream of the Highlights Foundation Writers Workshop at Chautauqua. "Next year," they promise themselves. "Next year I'm going to Chautauqua!" Then reality sets in. The drive and talent to support the dream are there, but the finances ... maybe not.

Please encourage your writing friends to stop dreaming and start planning! Scholarships will be considered in two groups. Early applications will be accepted through Dec. 15, 2010. Final scholarship deadline is Feb. 11, 2011.

Sincerely,

Jo Lloyd, Program Asst. Highlights Foundation, 814 Court Street, Honesdale PA 18431
Phone: 877-512-8365 (toll free) or 570-251-4557 Fax: 570-2530-0179
Email: jalloyd@highlightsfoundation.org Website: http://www.highlightsfoundation.org/

I wrote about my own Chautauqua experience here. I didn't think we could manage it financially or logistically. But I got a full scholarship and some work-for-hire gigs along with savings paid for the airfare. The younger toddler was weaned and my mother-in-law came to help for the whole week. A good time was had by all and it was a gift that is for a lifetime. So apply. And go!

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Les Brown.
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Find the Perfect Gift

2010-12-05T15:54:00.001-08:00

Today, we went Christmas shopping after Mass -- we have secret Santa at school and birthday presents to get. There are Giving Trees established at Churches and Catholic schools to share our wealth with those who are less fortunate. We especially love shopping for infants, for mothers who have brought new life. But most of all I want you to consider the Perfect Gift. I have copied this logo with permission from the Archdiocese of Washington.

Today was a very, very emotional Mass for me. About a dozen children and adults who are seeking baptism, communion or confirmation within the Catholic Church went through the Rite of Acceptance. We also had Anointing of the sick. Not only was I remembering my own blessing of the senses, and thinking how wonderful it is that they are seeking God, I was thinking now they have an anchor. Now, no matter what trials they will have, they will always know that Jesus is with them, through their laughter and their tears.

I am going to take a break from blogging for the rest of Advent and Christmas (and let me tell you that it will not be easy, for I shall miss it). I have Christmas cards to write, baking and decorating to do, and Christmas presents and projects to make with my children. I am thankful for each and every one of who has taken the time to read. Many of you sustain me with your love and prayers and friendship. I am deeply grateful.

God Bless you.

Seize the Day!

2010-12-02T13:23:00.000-08:00

Molly offers the Golden Coffee Cup as an alternative to NanoWriMo every November. It's packed full of inspiration. We post our Nov. goals (not necessarily 50K words) and share what we accomplished or not at the end of the month. I'm a proud winner this year of Jesse's logo despite severe setbacks. The Blaisdells are a talented bunch ... I seem to remember seeing some line art from Jesse as well.

But today -- today was a glorious day for another reason as well. I woke up without a migraine. Oh, a teensy one gnawed at the side of my head but I ignored it. There were no hammers hammering away. No tears. No anguish. No thoughts about how to get through the day. I brushed my teeth as the kittens came to play with the water. I got the kids ready for school and even engaged in conversation without asking them to be quiet. I walked to school and coming home, sang praises to God. Everything, from the brown soggy leaves to the bare branches, looked beautiful to me.

A small doubt crept into my head. How many hours will I have? But I banished it right away. Seize the day! And I have. I have tackled long-forgotten tasks related to school and home. I've written a bit. I'm writing this post. I have lessons to finish correcting. The sun is shining. I have a a page or two of my novel to revise. I can do anything ...

I have been given gifts from friends, the gifts of time and company. I need to write them back, thanking them.

It's been a long time -- weeks, months? -- since I've not had a hammer, a chisel and an anvil in my head. I pray this is a turning point.
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A Good Mail Day

2010-11-29T21:59:00.000-08:00

Today, the mailman brought the Dec. issue of Hopscotch magazine in which my article, "Waste Not, Want Not," is published. It's beautifully illustrated by Rebecca Spohn. It's a memoir piece about living in India and using everything. This was an ICL assignment years ago, so I was very, very happy when Hopscotch accepted it. Too bad I didn't have any pictures to go with the article. I share this issue with my good friend Shirley Anne Ramaley, who not only is a prolific writer but is a blue-ribbon photographer. Do check out her website.
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It's nice to get back into the school routine. I'm working on a short story and novel revisions again. We decorated our fake Christmas tree on Sunday. I'm not ready for a real tree this year with two kittens. Look at them! They've been having a great time playing with all the ornaments. They remind me of both our older cats when they were kittens. Such fun, such chaos. They nose the bells, chew on sticks and pulls the ornaments off. This morning, one of the kittens brought an ornament upstairs ... a fuzzy Santa with sticks. I told the kids that our job will be to fight entropy with the naughty kittens.

I hope everyone is enjoying getting back to their normal routine and not getting stressed over Christmas. I have one word for you: Marantha. It means, Come, Lord!

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Happy Thanksgiving and a Challenge

2010-11-25T06:23:00.000-08:00

Faith wrote a beautiful post on being thankful even for bad things. It immediately reminded me of 1 Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

It is difficult to be thankful for aches and pains, for suffering, for death, but only the good Lord knows how He will use them for His purpose, His glory.

Kristi Holl recommended me a book: The God of all Comfort by Judy Gann. It is a book of reflections for those who suffer from chronic illness, or those who are dying. Well, we're all dying, so we can all benefit from it. It brings much needed perspective to my life right now. If you know of someone who is suffering, I highly recommend it.

There's a poem in there by an unknown author I'd like to share with you:

My life is but a weaving

Between my Lord and me;

I cannot choose the colors,

He worketh steadily.

Ofttimes he weaveth sorrow,

And I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper,

And I the underside.

Not 'til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly,

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver's skillful hand,

As the threads of gold and silver,

In the pattern He has planned.

Every night at supper, we go around listing five thanks in no particular order, big or small. We've been doing this for several years now. I especially enjoy listening to the children's thanks, which give me clues as to what they love in their lunchbox, like tomatoes or popcorn, or the obvious (not in their lunchbox) -- the pets, the sunshine, family, friends.

This year, our youth leader at Church challenged us to make a list of 100 things we're thankful for. I thought this would be fun. My kids have already finished their lists. In light of what I've said, I think you can think of a hundred things easily, both good and bad. Even I can be grateful for my illness; it draws me closer to God, makes my children kinder, more compassionate.

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Happy Birthday, Ai

2010-11-23T21:37:00.000-08:00

Today is my mother's birthday. I had hoped to make a cake to celebrate, but I was too ill. Instead I prayed the rosary. For her soul. For mine. And for my loved ones.

Today I leave you a quote from Vance Havner: God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is a broken alabaster jar that gives forth perfume ... It is Peter weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power.

Looking back, my mother was broken. But as a child, I saw her great strength and courage. I weep too, for I am broken. But in this brokennes, friends and family have come to my aid, and lifted me up in prayer. How blessed I am.

I came across this beautiful song by Leonard Cohen's and the refrain resonates perfectly: There is a crack in everything, That’s how the light gets in.

Here's the YouTube video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zKk76YkF1U

Snow!

2010-11-22T12:38:00.001-08:00

We got a dusting of snow yesterday. The kids went out to play first thing in the morning. The dog kept jumping up and snapping at the large snowflakes. Today, it's been coming down all morning. The kittens have been watching it in rapt attention. Now I have one in my lap as I type this post. I hope the snowfall continues so that school is cancelled and we can have a nice long Thanksgiving break at home.

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Count My Blessings

2010-11-20T22:47:00.000-08:00

Count My Blessings is Salina Yoon's first picture book. A little bear counts his blessings: one house, two parents, three friends ...

I met Salina through the Blueboards. I'd been working on a concept book that had received good rejections and I was stumped. Knowing Salina's background, I asked whether she'd take a look. Not only did she take a look, she advised me how to make it marketable. I followed her lead until it was pitch perfect to both our ears. And she sent me a book! Count My Blessings.

Shouldn't I be thanking her? Inside the book were several notes including: Where's my bread? Apparently the bread I'd promised had gone phantom on me. Did the postman eat it? The fungus? Uh-oh. But this story has a happy ending. The bread arrived. I've now achieved the status of Ma Ingalls since Salina doesn't like to cook (even in a crock pot).

The kids and I read Salina's book immediately and Salina shared the genesis of this book. She was already creating novelty books at the time, many that I'm sure your own children have grown to love (check them out at her website), but she was a mother of a toddler at the time: "I wanted a book that was created JUST for him, and JUST from mom."

I wrote to her about the pictures, which ones were our favorites. She wrote back: "My mom (the grandma in the book) is a true quilter. She's made me at least a dozen quilts, from crib sized quilts to king sized quilts! From quilted bags to quilted teddy bears .... And my dad is actually a watch repairman, but loves using his hands. All the toys in the book are from Max's things. Oh... and those stuffed animals ... Max insisted on dragging them to bed, and drag them back downstairs every morning for years! My family truly inspired this book."

My kids understand this. All my early stories (and even now) published in magazines are our family stories, doing the laundry, cooking, picking berries, etc. They are keepsakes. Salina and I talked about our kids and what an inspiration they are. She wrote: "Max and Mason are now in Kindergarten and 1st grade. They've now outgrown my books for little ones. But they absolutely continue to inspire me! In fact, Max's favorite hobby is to create books of his own with me! He has a drafting table right in my studio."

Lucky kids! Thank you for sharing your beautiful book and your family so generously with us, Salina. Folks, watch out for more books from Salina in the near future -- she's as busy as can be!

May you all have a happy Thanksgiving. Count your blessings.

On Love and Loss

2010-11-14T14:30:00.001-08:00

Earlier this week, we had to put our oldest cat down. It was probably the worst time ever, since I was recovering from complications from a lumbar puncture. But that's a separate story. Well, is there ever a good time to break a bone when you're a 17-year-old cat? I knew something like this was bound to happen. He was old. He was frail. But I was completely unprepared, emotionally and physically. He spent a fair bit of time in bed with me and even though he was bony and not very soft, it was endearing to have him close and purring. Two old souls.

I got him at a time when I was hurting emotionally -- my husband (then boyfriend) and I had broken up because we were in a long-distance relationship and he had taken a job in Belgium and I felt he was moving in the wrong direction. I loved him so very much and wanted him in the same country. The same state would've been better. So I ended the relationship, and got this kitten instead. Eight months later, I was still miserable, as well as him (the boyfriend, not the kitten), so we decided to make concrete plans to physically be together. We got married and the rest is history. Oh, we were so young and so stupid, putting our careers above our love. Now I tell young people that love is more important, to not sacrifice it.

Moje was a great cat. A feisty little thing. Adventurous. When I finished my PhD I couldn't bear to be parted with him, so he came to Belgium with us for my postdoc at the Max Planck Institute in Germany. He's been well-travelled. He's been everywhere I've been and a great companion. I've missed him terribly when my husband I got married and went on our honeymoon. Luckily, our hosts had just gotten a kitten and I got to play with it.

Here's a photo of him when he was five years old and still not quite happy about getting the black cat. I was pregnant with our first baby at the time. But they became great friends after the baby was born and I was busy. She misses him the most now and follows me around quite a bit.

Then the babies came. He didn't like them at the beginning either -- but he was curious and wanted to be in the middle of everything.

He was the best babysitter ever, putting the kids to sleep.

He endured being treated like a stuffed animal.

He checked the homework routinely so that I wouldn't have to.

He taught both my kids to read.

In his later years, we added a puppy and two kittens. He tolerated them. But he was always top cat. He spent much of his time curled up, sleeping, but even so, he had his daily heebie-jeebies. He still nipped my toes and demanded to be picked up. I always did, no matter what I was doing.

Moje loved a good time and enjoyed Christmas and being part of the fun.

We miss you Moje. I am sure you are enjoying kitty heaven, chasing angel toes and sitting in all the available laps.

High Mass

2010-10-31T22:52:00.001-07:00

Today we had the opportunity to attend High Mass at the Church of the North American Martyrs in Ballard. I cannot even express how amazing and wonderful it was. The Altar was magnificent with our eyes naturally drawn to the crucifix that was mounted on what I think was a malachite slab, backlit. Six candles were already lit. Someone was praying the rosary and we joined in. The atmosphere was intensely devotional and prayerful.

The entire service was in Latin and the congregation responded minimally. One could read in the little booklets that were printed, and although we were requested to return them, I confess I took one home to study, the Latin and English, printed side by side. I do know a little bit of Latin, since I used to sing in Concert Choir and many of the pieces we sung were by Bach and Verdi and Mozart and specifically composed for the Church. So I knew where we were during the liturgy. I love the Kyrie and the Sanctus, for I am a sinner and I cannot help but ask for mercy, and the Lord is Holy!

If you want to see a video clip and photos go here. The biggest difference is that the priest faces the Altar because he is leading the flock to Calvary. This is a much more sacrificial tone to the whole liturgy. The priest and altar servers move in a perfectly choreographed manner. We take communion by kneeling and on the tongue. There is something very different -- you are being fed the Lamb of God. Again, I cannot quite express how I feel. But I loved it and it evoked some very deep down memories that I didn't even know I had of going to the Cathedral as a child. We shall definitely go again. I think it is important to have exposure to this rich and traditional service as well as the vernacular.

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Almost All Hallow's Eve

2010-10-29T22:33:00.001-07:00

These are our pumpkins for this year. We have the perfect Halloween cat of course. I didn't grow up with this tradition -- mine was strictly a religious one -- remembering the dead. For Catholics, All Saints Day is a Holy Day so we shall be going to Mass Monday night. It really is lovely to remember the greats -- we have our favorite Saints. What great role models. Ignatious Press has made some excellent biopics and we've been watching them periodically. The Saints struggle just like everybody else with temptations. They give in. But they pick themselves up and try again to live holy lives.

I often think of my mother. She was a saint too. Nobody knows of all the sacrifices she made to raise us. Nobody will sing her praises. There is no glory in yelling after children who do not listen, who give you grief. But she took such pleasure in feeding us whatever little food we had, in fattening us up, in singing to us, reading to us, in sewing us clothes. One of my greatest pleasures was to lay my head upon her lap, or to tell her I had a stomach ache and stay home from school and have a free day to read. She let us. We didn't do it often, my sister and I.

We have no grave to visit. Only stories. Memories. Pictures. But she is surely in the company of Jesus and Mary and all the Saints and angels of heaven.

In our secular culture, everything must be celebrated by stripping the holy out of the holiday. Now Halloween is about pumpkins and candy. Forget about the beloved dead. I hope you will light a candle for the people you remember and love and miss who have died. Do it for them. God bless you and God bless them.

Don't be Buffaloed

2010-10-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

My student's story, Cowgirl Morning, not only debuted in Cricket, it made the cover! Isn't it stunning? I must get a copy of it this weekend. Luckily, my local Borders carries the magazine. So after my daughter's soccer game, we shall make a stop. By the way, their team is doing awesome in the playoffs! Go Colorblind Purple Pumas! (Long story).

Congratulations to Bryn Fleming!

Teaching is such a joy for me. And not just because of successes like these. Every student has a deep desire to share stories and these are stories that only they can write. They are self-selected population who come through ICL -- from grandmothers to high school students. Some have a great deal of experience, others not so. But the journey they begin here, the tools they learn, will last them for their writing life. It's lovely to take a part in making dreams come true.

Cuddles

2010-10-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

The dog loves the kittens ... and they love to cuddle up with her.

Down-time. As you can see, we are a family that loves relaxing. Nothing beats cuddling up with a cat right after school, before homework and football practice.

The 17-year-old brown cat tolerates the kittens just so he can be with us.

The 12-year-old tortie does not like to be in the middle of mayhem. She has always slept with our son and does not join all the commotion in the family room in the afternoons. Here she claims a Highlights.

Looks like these two are already beginning to look like the kitten!

Look at us lazy parents. When our kids were little, they'd join us for afternoon naps. Now they're too busy running amok with the camera.

I'm ready for the weekend. How about you?

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Reading

2010-10-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

"We're not getting a kitten," I said, negotiating our station wagon around a bend the shape of a pretzel. "We're just going to look."

So begins Cleo: the Cat who Mended a Family by Helen Brown. Poor Helen. She's like my husband, who didn't know you don't just "look" at kittens. The writing is exquisite in this book. But I'll admit I stopped reading it for a couple of days when tragedy hits the family. I simply could not go on. My own daughter is nine. And to even imagine losing her to some freak auto-accident is a place I cannot go to and remain sane.

Now that I'm in the thick of it, I'm savoring it. There is love after loss. Even laughter. My family thinks I'm bonkers sitting in a corner cackling to myself as I read this book. I can't help but think of the half finished stories of my own first cat. I got him at a tumultuous time in my life ... he's still with us (17 years old), still demanding our attention, still behaving like an Indian husband. Ah, yes, he deserves his own book. Someday.

I was a bit put-off by the cover saying: the next Marley and Me. Don't get me wrong. I've read it. Enjoyed it. But Cleo is nothing like Marley. For heaven's sake, don't the people who market know anything about cats and dogs? Marley is a dog. And some of us are right offended by the comparison. Puh-leeeese.

So, cat lovers ... get this book. Cleo will burrow into your own heart as have other cats. Perhaps it will jog some of your own cherished kitten and cat memories. Pen them. Write a tribute.

I love the title chapter and subheadings. Here's a sampling:

Choice ~ A cat chooses its owner, not the other way around.

A Name ~ There's only one correct name for a cat -- Your Majesty.

Loss ~ Unlike humans, cats are accustomed to loss.

The Intruder ~ A cat doesn't go where it's invited. It appears where its needed.

Trust ~ A cat is always in the right place at exactly the right time.

I could go on and on, but you simply must get the book, curl up with your own feline and enjoy this book for yourself.

Ciao meow.

ps: I wish the owners of Marley and other dogs and their owners only well. After all, we also have a lovable doggy in the house. But cats are cats and dogs are dogs, and the two shall not compare. Cats rule!

Reading

2010-10-06T13:24:00.001-07:00

What a rollicking good read this was. Scumble is the companion book to Savvy.

Ledger Kale's savvy busts things apart. You'll have to read the book to know how he learns to control it, with his cousins giving him lessons. Ingrid Law can spin a tall tale, but her savvy has got to be picking the best names for her characters: Fedora, Rocket, Marisol, and who can forget Mibs?

Here's our cat Savvy (the kid who named her is herself named after a book character). I like this picture even though it's fuzzy because she looks like she's glowing, kind of like Rocket in Scumble.

Other books that I enjoyed:

North of Beautiful by Justina Chen Headley -- this one is not just about a girl struggling with a port-wine stain. It had so many layers. I loved all the mapping metaphors used throughout. I especially enjoyed the family relationships, the unexpected plot twists. It's beautifully written. My only criticism is that the characters often started their conversations with: "God." This might be realistic, but it grated on my eyes and ears. Why? If characters start every sentence with the f* word, would we use it as writers?

Writing a Book that makes a Difference by Philip Gerard -- My pet projects are all important books. I want to make a difference in this world. Why else would I write? Oh, yes, I write for money and experience, but ultimately it's to bring a voice to the voiceless. Make a difference.

Quit Your Day Job: How to Sleep Late, Do What You Enjoy, and Make a Ton of Money as a Writer by Jim Denney -- Isn't that the greatest title? I saw it on Kristi Holl's blog. And I've made some changes to my writing life and boy golly, I'm going to be a career novelist.

After a month of being neurotic, I've finally settled down to my novel revision. Happy reading and writing, folks.

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Blessing of the Pets

2010-10-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

It was a gorgeous day for the blessing of the pets at Eastside Catholic. We brought our dog and the two new kittens. The older cats have already had their blessings, many times over.

Here's my son, trying to get the kittens out of the bag. I put a stop to that.

Father Bill blessing our dog. She barked, "AMEN!"

After we got home, I took a nap with one of the kittens. It's been a rough two weeks for me with intractable migraines ... these furry, purry pets bring such comfort and joy. God's creatures are marvelous ... and we are one of them as well.

I wanted to leave you with this Prayer of St. Francis, sung by Westminster Abbey Choir.

Make me a channel of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.

Where there is injury, Your pardon, Lord.

And where there's doubt, true faith in You.

Make me a channel of your peace.

Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope.

Where there is darkness, only light.

And where there's sadness, ever joy.

O Master, grant that I may never seek.

So much to be consoled as to console.

To be understood as to understand.

To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

In giving of ourselves that we receive.

And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

Historical Writing Contest

2010-09-29T08:39:00.001-07:00

I've been too busy and too sick to blog, so Bish kindly let me copy this verbatim from her blog, even though we probably share some readers. But for those we don't:

The Institute of Children's Literature, is having another one of their wonderful writing contests. This one is calling for Historical Fiction. Go check it out. Your story could win $500 and be published in Children's Writer.
I'm promoting it for several reasons:
1.) I'm a graduate of the Institute. Their courses were a HUGE stepping stone to my getting short stories and articles published in children's magazines.*
2.) I won the last contest they had with my retold Folktale, "Why Dogs Beg."**
3.) I've entered this one.***
Lastly4.) Jan Fields, who faithfully puts out a FREE e-newsletter and to whom you can submit articles to Rx for Writers (and get paid, I've had three articles in Rx) is offering a boat load of children's books for anyone who promotes the Historical Fiction Writing Contest.
Got all that?
I know most of you are novel writers, but it's good to flex your muscles and write something short and focused. S0 check out the contest rules. You might have something that fits.

*I am a graduate and an instructor.
**I also won a contest years ago for contemporary YA : Driving Lessons.
***I cannot since I teach at ICL, but I'd love to since I adore HF.

*****

Community

2010-09-17T23:19:00.000-07:00

My son had his essay chosen for display at school. It was on community. He wrote about baseball, family and church, how great it is to belong and lift each other up. But he was also very honest. That it's difficult when you want to do your own thing and cannot, because you have a responsibility to your community. He's always had this ability to see both sides of the coin, from the time he was a small boy. He's got an old soul. I am so glad we can send him to a Catholic school now. I like that everything is taught through that lens, whether it's literature or science.

It reminds me so much of my own family and writing, how much writing came to me via the family and yet there are days I get no time to write because of all the responsibilities. It is a struggle. But I would have nothing worthwhile to say without my family. And nothing at all, without God.

How Not to Revise

2010-09-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

So I've been writing and revising and hating everything ... I want it to be PERFECT!!!! No matter what I try, it's not good. I have scribbled many pages in my notebook and I did not mind one bit. I was trying out various things, learning more about my characters, and if was all fun. But now that I opened up a new document, I feel paralyzed. I type up a sentences and paragraphs and they are all terrible. I tell myself not to delete, but in the morning, I delete everything. Can I scream now? ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. I feel a tantrum coming on. I feel like a fourth-grader who does not want to have to redo her work.

There is excellent advice over at Kristi Holl's blog ... the trick is to write fast and with with passion. But what if it's all crapola? I have lost all judgment about my work right now. My husband has suggested that I simply write and quit deleting and yet the delete button is my favorite key right now because the screen becomes blank again and I don't have to look at the stuff. He says to cut and paste it somewhere else. I actually do have another document where I talk to myself. Perhaps I should stick it in there ... I've not opened that document in a long time. But I promised Jen, my critique partner I will not delete anything more. We are supposed to meet Wed. and share some pages. I wanted to give her something brilliant to read ... make it worth her while.

Anybody else feel so neurotic?

I have made a decision. This revision does not have to be perfect. It cannot be and will not be perfect. It has to be incrementally better. That's all. Right?

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Spilling Ink

2010-09-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

What a gem of a writing book! I do enough writing workshops and this is one book I will be recommending to both kids and adults who like to write. The advice on the craft of writing, of getting into the habit, of protecting yourself from writerly neuroses, etc. is all here. It's a book that a kid might even want to pick up again and again, if she were stuck on characters or plot or setting. The authors, Anne Mazer and Ellen Potter, even have some writer exercises, only they call this section: I DARE YOU. How can you resist? Of course, you'll take the challenge. I did! And was better for it. And the illustrations by Matt Phelan give it just the right touch. Now, why don't they have these in grown up books? This one's a winner. If you want a writer's handbook for a young person in your life, or for your self, get thee to the bookstore and pick up: Spilling Ink.

Well, we're well into Sept. and both my kids are in school and I need to go spill some ink. Remember that first draft? Well, it's actually a horrible mess. A revision is in order. I told myself I'd start this weekend and it's almost over. We're still in summer mode even though it's raining here. Well, the night is still young ... must put the kiddos to bed and open a new document.

Here's to a productive fall, all.

Tell Me a Secret

2010-08-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

It is always such a pleasure to read a book by a friend whom you've watched grow. Holly Cupala's Tell Me a Secret is a stunning debut. The writing is excellent, with characters that ring true -- not just the main character, but even the minor ones who make their appearances for just a few pages.

This is not just a teen pregnancy book. It's about a girl trying to discover her true identity in the shadow of her more flamboyant sister's death. It's also about toxic friendships. This is the aspect that interested me. It seems many teens don't discern people well, or even if they do, they still choose the wrong people to be with, for the wrong reasons.

The ending was honest, if not bittersweet. How I wish everything could've been tied up with a pretty bow, because sometimes that is what happens (see a post below with a baby's picture).

I was particularly impressed with how well Holly ties all the plots and subplots together and I was pleasantly surprised to see that the cast of characters were not all white, without race being an issue. Very nicely done.

So, thank you, Holly, for writing one of the best contemporary YA books I've read in some time.

A title like this begs for a secret to be divulged ... hmmm ... I once did not wear underpants to school. We were at the bus-stop and my sister for some odd reason, lifted my tunic and told me run home and put them on. She'd make the bus wait. I did as I was told. After all, I was only five.

Summer

2010-08-18T23:21:00.000-07:00

So much happening -- getting together with friends, both new and old, dentist appointments, schlepping kids to football and soccer practice (yes, the madness has begun), and this means it's time to get ready for school. I'm not ready ... there are still a million little things I need and want to do with my kids. This summer went by too fast ...

My son took a thousand pictures this summer and I'm so happy because now I can share a few of them with you. And since a picture is worth a thousand words ... well, I needn't say much. Grin.

There's been much hissing:

and clawing:

and cuddling:

and meowing:

and sniffing:

and stealing of dolly beds:

and intent listening to Warrior books:

There was also camping:

and gathering of lavender to make sachets, which the kittens often play with:

And sometimes we simply watched the dewdrops on the spiderweb ...

I hope you've all had a fabulous summer.

A New Baby

2010-08-10T22:53:00.000-07:00

Today my niece gave birth to a beautiful baby girl -- this baby is the reason her parents got married. They have shown tremendous faith in taking this leap, of making a commitment to each other and to their baby. May God bless them and protect them and help them to grow in faith, hope and love.

Oh, babies!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, ~Jeremiah 1:3
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The End

2010-08-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

I typed those two wonderful words "The End" to the first draft of DAMAGED on Wed. I raced through the last 10K ... it's all plot, sort of how my kids tell a story (this happened, then that, etc.) but I am breathless and happy and relieved.

Is it possible that this momentous event happened because my modem was dead all week and I couldn't get online? Methinks ...

Two hours later, my lesson packet arrived from ICL, but I took the night off to snuggle with all the pets and watch a movie.
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Holy Smokes are Winners!

2010-07-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

Holy Smokes of St. Jude have done it again -- taken first prize for chicken, ribs, and People's Choice and third prize for pork shoulder!

Thanks to all our Knights!

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Followers and Friends

2010-07-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

It being summer and all, I've not checked out some blogs, but realized they were still on my "follow" list. A while back, when I discovered the follow feature, I thought it would somehow be an easier way to read everything I wanted to read, but the better way is to have an RSS feed. The follow feature is independent of it. I hate clutter and redundancies so decided to "unfollow" everybody. This was no easy feat because there was no such button ... I did find it eventually buried under the features of the blogs I follow.

I can't believe how cantankerous I am. I don't like words like "friend" or "follow" when all you're doing is reading someone's blog. What's wrong with "reader"? I only have a handful of friends, the rest being acquaintances or colleagues, and so I like to reserve the term "friend" for those special people. And as to follow, I only want to follow Jesus Christ. Words are so important to me, and when people use them casually, it irritates me. I won't go into turning verbs into nouns and vice versa ... they grate on my ears, even though I know language is always evolving.

Anyway, I got rid of the "follow" thingie on my blog as well because it makes no sense to me. Besides, my paltry numbers (20 or so) make me feel terribly unpopular (not that it's anything new). Nathan Bransford as 4,000+ followers. Wow! But I wonder how many of those followers actually read his posts. I was reading his stuff for a while when I was considering getting an agent and even entered one of his contests, but what's the point of saying I follow him when I am no longer reading his blog? Sorry Nathan, if you're reading this. When I am ready to look for an agent, I will most likely go back to reading his posts because they are full of agent-wisdom.

I've seen many contests lately about collecting more followers. I must be the only person on this planet who doesn't get it. Can someone enlighten me? For me blogging is about making a connection with my readers, and I enjoy the company and community of those who are sincere. But this entire "friends" and "followers" business feels more like a popularity contest than anything else. It's high school all over again ...

And now I'll probably lose the 20-odd followers and the 5 or so friends I do have ... but that's okay. I really am a crankypants. I'm nothing if honest.

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Kittens

2010-07-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

Meet the newest members of our family. They are nearly three months old, a brother-sister pair we found at our local shelter. The other critters have not met them yet but we will introduce them slowly, one by one. They know something's up! There's been a lot of sniffing beneath the door of my daughter's bedroom, which is officially the kitten room ... and guess who's sleeping with the kittens tonight?

Happy sigh. It reminds me of the time when we brought our second cat home. The first one is fiercely attached to me, so my husband slept in the guest room with the kitten. A week later, they were both in bed with us, and the kitten's size and weight mirrored my son's growth in my womb. The kitten spent many hours on my growing belly and I could imagine how big my baby would be. Turns out the kitten grew faster ... My son was 8 lbs at birth and the kitten 10 lbs when she was 9 mo. old. Here's a picture of her checking out the new baby. Oh, how quickly they all grow up ... both the kids and the critters.

Let the chaos begin!

Reading and Writing

2010-07-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

I just finished Escaping the Tiger by Laura Manivong, based upon her husband's years in a refugee camp. It is not an easy read. I cried several times, but they were tears of understanding -- I, too, have had an empty belly, been called a dog and told to go home, and even in the face of huge disappointments, stayed optimistic. These characters rang so true for me, I felt as though I could sit and share sticky rice with peppers with them. I laughed near the end when they marvel at the beautiful, white, dimpled flesh of Americans. I remember wanting to be fat like that too (and now I am).

This book will resonate not just with refugees, but with all people who have no home, who have been marginalized by society simply because of the culture they were born in, and who keep faith and hope alive and survive. Our country is so much richer for people like Troy (Laura's husband) and Laura, who take the time and the trouble to tell their stories.

My son is devouring this book right now and ever since I told the kids that I *know* the author via the Blueboards, that this book is based upon her husband's childhood, they are mightily impressed.

I'm also reading the Collected Works of Flannery O'Connor. It includes letters and essays as well and I am in awe of this woman who took a great deal of time to encourage others, even though she was gravely ill and dying from lupus.

Here's a quote from Mystery and Manners: People without hope do not write novels. Writing a novel is a terrible experience, during which the hair often falls out and the teeth decay. I'm always highly irritated by people who imply that writing fiction is an escape from reality. It is a plunge into reality and it's very shocking to the system. If the novelist is not sustained by a hope of money, then he must be sustained by a hope of salvation, or he simply won't survive the ordeal.

A Writing Retreat

2010-07-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

So, I alluded that I had some extra time last week. That's because the children were with their grandparents. We live in the suburbs, so a rural setting is quite the change -- a large garden to weed and pick from, a tractor to ride, movies to watch. The kids had a grand time and I was grateful for the gift of time.

And never will I complain about not having enough time to write because this whole week, although I had the time, I still only spent only a couple of hours each day on my writing (ahem, half of it was in day-dreaming) and the rest in other activities. I cooked wicked spicy Indian food, read a lot, played the piano, prayed the rosary, danced along with a dance video, took long walks, and even had a date night with my husband -- dinner at a Thai place followed by Ironman 2 (I love all these movies based on the old Marvel characters). It gave me a taste of what it's going to be like when the kids fly the nest. Quiet, but nice.

Which got me thinking about writing retreats, where all your needs are taken care of so that you only need write. The funny thing is that when you most need this sort of time, you have to have child-care if your spouse cannot take time off from work. And by the time the kids are grown, you don't really need it ... because you can create your own retreat at home. Don't be like me, though ... I enjoy too many other things besides writing.

I am very, very lucky that I won a couple of scholarships to writing workshops before my children started school because once they did, I've not wanted to be away from them for too long. Our time together is short ...
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Banana Splits and Fireworks

2010-07-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Sharing some pictures from my son's perspective.

Grandma made decadent banana splits nearly every night.

Our dog ran like the wind on the large property.

Why is fire so mesmerizing?

Cars, cars and more cars!

Grandpa sings in a barbershop choir, The An-O-Chords, and this was their old car.

I think this is a P3 -- Sound of Freedom.

It was freezing out on the beach so my daughter and I opted not to go to the fireworks. We cuddled in bed instead.

I hope you're all enjoying your summer. Finally, finally, we have sunshine and I have our clothes and bedsheets and pillowcases flapping in the breeze. A strawberry-rhubarb sauce is simmering that I'll freeze ... to have later this afternoon.

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Abwoon D'Bashmaya

2010-07-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Testing YouTube embed feature. I have the words below for singing along. I can sing it halfway before having to look them up. I can't explain why it makes me feel so good to be able to say these words ... I think in English, for heaven's sake! The translation of each phrase is a couple of posts down ...

Abwûn d'bwaschmâja
Nethkâdasch schmach
Têtê malkuthach.
Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.
Hawvlân lachma d'sûnkanân jaomâna.
Waschboklân chaubên wachtahên aikânadaf chnân schwoken l'chaijabên.
Wela tachlân l'nesjuna
ela patzân min bischa.
Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila wateschbuchta l'ahlâm almîn.
Amên.

Magazine Good News

2010-06-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

My story, Surprise Squash, made the cover of Our Little Friend in the June 2005 issue and is going to be reprinted sometime in 2011. And Highlights is considering my fiction contest story for regular purchase ...

I'm writing again, as in productively, on my novel, instead of just free writing. I'm so close to the end and yet so far away. Still haven't made it to the climax ... my main character is discovering something about herself, which I had not planned when I wrote the outline. I'm trying to get out of the way and I am enjoying watching the story unfold in my head. Too bad it gets mangled on paper in the process. But that's what revisions are for.

I've had some extra time on my hands this week so not only have I cleaned house thoroughly, I've spiffed up my blog and cleaned up all the labels. You like?

I can't believe it's almost the end of June. Where is the warm weather? Oh, it's very pleasant, but I want to feel the heat. I want to know it's summer. Thankfully the salmonberries and huckleberries in the woods are loaded ... our usual 40-min walk easily translates to an hour as we stop to pick and eat and pick and eat. It's a great treat after lunch or dinner. But Wind, won't you chase Cloud, so that we can have our Sunshine?

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This Gorgeous Game

2010-06-21T19:35:00.001-07:00

Donna Freitas' This Gorgeous Game opens with a provocative quote from Thomas Merton: I simply have no business being [in] love and playing around with a girl, however innocently ... After all I am supposed to be a monk with a vow of chastity and though I have kept my vow -- I wonder if I can keep it indefinitely and still play this gorgeous game!

At first I thought, oh no, a sex-abuse-by-clergy story. I've read about the scandals in the newspapers. It makes my heart hurt because the deepest trust is violated.

But from the very beginning I was drawn to what Olivia had to say. This wonderful writer-priest, her idol, is giving her attention, telling her she has a gift from God. The story unfolds and I was reminded of my college days, how smart and pretty young things were given lavish attention by professors, but they didn't know how to stop it without hurting the professor, the very person who is supposedly helping them. This happens in every spectrum of the teaching world, be it religious or secular.

I loved the chapter headings, the division of the book into three parts with quotes from Merton, and most of all the gorgeous writing. Kudos to Ms. Freitas for writing about this sensitive subject without condemning the Catholic Church. The priest is flawed. People forget that priests are human. Just like some mothers are terrible and abuse their children does not make motherhood an evil institution. Likewise with the Catholic church. A few bad priests cannot change what the Catholic Church is -- the Bride of Christ.

I will leave you with Matthew 16:18: And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Father's Day, Wives and Husbands

2010-06-20T23:42:00.001-07:00

I am blessed to have a good husband. He is a kind and loving man who provides for our family and is a great example to the children. My son is learning how to be a man and my daughter is learning what kind of a man she ought to give her heart to. I honor, respect and yes, obey, him, even. When we were married, I made a conscious choice to defer to him if we had any disagreements. I told myself I'd only fight if he were wrong about something. And this decision has served us well. Oh, we still end up having stupid fights once in a while, like who should clean out the cat box, but they're so dumb we end up laughing. The unexpected consequence of deferring to my husband is that he always takes my wishes into consideration. And I'm not shy about letting him know what I need or want.

So earlier this year, when I was reading the Bible and came across these verses (1 Cor 11:1-11) on veiling yourself to show obedience to your husband, I decided to cover my head in church. I grew up in a culture where women typically cover their heads during prayer. And the Muslim women were always covered. So this was not strange for me. My mother always pulled the palloo of her sari over her head in church. The Catholic church doesn't say that married women should or shouldn't use a veil, but I feel compelled to. There is an interesting shift in my mind as I cover myself. There is a cocooning effect for one. I can fix my eyes more easily on Jesus and be less distracted by others around me. And it is to honor, respect and humble myself before my Lord and my husband that I veil myself.

Here is a short passage for wives in Ephesians 5:22-24.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

It is not popular in our culture to submit to anybody. But consider the responsibilities of the husband as well in Eph. 5:25-32.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.

Read these excellent reflections on marriage and on fatherhood by Msgr. Pope.

Summer

2010-06-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

It's officially summer even though it doesn't feel like it. We've had more rain than sunshine and I'm missing hanging out my clothes to dry. Soon, soon. I have faith. Then I can lie in my hammock outside and read. Except ... I'm dreaming. I don't have a hammock. Oh, well, the sleeping bag will have to do. Aren't those clouds amazing? My son took that.

The kids came home in high spirits today ... We went over the report cards, last minute drawings and rocks and pencils and plastic animals that were discovered in the depths of their cubbies. Already they want to go to the library, but today I wanted to stay home and cook a nice meal and have supper all together in a relaxed manner instead of having to rush off to baseball.

But what an amazing season our son's team had. They went from losing eight games in a row to winning eight, then losing the championship game in a nail-biting game. I loved watching how all the boys grew over the season. Lots of life lessons to learn from baseball. And I, who never dreamed that I would ever write a *sports* story, have half a dozen baseball shorts percolating. Maybe this summer, I will write up one of them.

Of course, I teach all-year round, so summer almost always presents a challenge, but with a lot of help from my family, I am able to get it done. I do a lot of free-writing and it's one of the best things about summer -- writing without destination, chewing on ideas, trying them out, playing with words in my notebook. I don't feel like I get much writing done in the summer and it's true that the pages of novel won't be stacking up, but that's okay as well. There is a season for everything and summertime simply lends itself to a more relaxed pace of life.

I hope you will enjoy the summer, wherever you are, whether or not the sun shines.

Reading

2010-06-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'd like to share some good books I've been reading and I'm saving the best for last.

Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt. I enjoyed this story of the orphan Keturah who only wants: “to have my own little cottage to clean, my own wee baby to hold and most of all, one true love to be my husband.” It's a tale of love and sacrifice, with a very fairy-tale like setting.

Wanting Mor by Rukhsana Khan: This is based on a true story about a little girl who was abandoned on the streets of Kabul. People ask me why I like such stories because they can be so depressing, and they are, but they are also uplifting. I have seen the most generosity in poor places, where a child will tear off pieces of a roti he's been given with younger siblings, instead of eating it all himself. Good will always prevail.

My Life as a Rhombus by Varian Johnson: I had loved Wendy Lichtmann's book Do the Math: Secrets, Lies and Algebra and so when I came across another math-based novel I had to pick it up. Well, let me tell you that the two books are entirely different in nature. Do the Math is for MG and up, but Rhombus is definitely YA. It's a tale of love and forgiveness, of things that cannot be undone (abortion), and how one moves forward. The characters are believeable and I loved the ending. The last chapter was brilliant. In less than half a page, Johnson told me how the rest of the near future of these characters develops. Yup, math is succint.

The Migraine Brain by Carolyn Bernstein and Elaine McArdle: I'm educating myself. If you suffer from migraines, pick this up and learn what's available to developing strategies to having fewer migraines. There are many online resources as well.

Time to Write by Kelly L. Stone: Well, summer's here and I need to remind myself how to make time to write with kids and teaching and housework, etc. My plan is to write shorts this summer. I've got so many baseball stories percolating, it's time to start fleshing them out at the pool or park or backyard.

The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson: This book is so insanely rich, I had to go back to page 1 as soon as I finished it. I wanted to eat this book. It's got stories within stories, folklore and more. It's a terrifying story of love and redemption, of love and sacrifice and the best love story ever that I've read in a long time. Even better than the Time Traveller's Wife.

Happy reading folks.
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Disappointments and Silver Linings

2010-06-08T23:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough week. I've been having a migraine that I can control only partially. It started innocently enough last Wed. and by late morning I knew I couldn't go to meet Amy Efaw, author of AFTER and BATTLE DRESS, at her book-signing. We exchanged regrets.

Since then, I've missed games, have had to cancel volunteering duties, and not been able to do the things I've planned with my kids because I am only doing the things that must be done. My husband and kids help, but it's not like I can simply go lie down and let everything run itself because frankly, it doesn't. My husband is busy with work and baseball tournaments (he's an umpire and a darned good one at that), the kids need feeding and they can only eat so much cereal and oatmeal, the lessons need to be corrected, etc. etc. I have whittled down my to-do list to the necessities and I take time to rest with an ice pack, read, relax on the Blueboards, even blog. The only music that soothes me is that of the Priests.

I'm under the care of a neurologist now because after two years of suffering stoically, I realize I need help. So I'm educating myself about migraines and how best to prevent them, manage them and lessen the impact on my life. I've not yet accepted how much time I lose with the people I love and care for, including my story people. I miss working on my novel in what I consider a productive fashion. But I still write in my notebook and get some valuable insights.

There's still a lot of laughter.

This evening, I dished out dinner to my kids -- lamb stew with salad, bread and milk. Then I laid down with an ice-pack on my head and a cat on my stomach. I closed my eyes. The kids blessed themselves and the meal and asked God to make my headache go away. There was a lot of talk about school (it's almost the end), how much they love their teachers and how much they'll miss them, the books we have on hold at the library that I've not had a chance to go pick up yet, the grass that just keeps on growing, the baseball game tomorrow. They were go good and sweet and kind to each other. And let me tell you they are not always like this, but when I am not well, they cooperate and take care of each other.

I know the kids thought I was sleeping because my eyes were closed, but I heard a lot of whispering how they should take a picture of me, but how the flash might wake me up. They decided against it.

This has been my worst migraine ever, not in the intensity but duration. After six days, I am less cranky and more exhausted. I want this to be over. It's hard to sleep, it's hard to enjoy all the little things that bring me joy, it's hard to write coherently and I feel sorry for my poor family. But there is a silver lining: my prayers are more fervent. Sometimes it's simply the Kyrie (Lord have mercy) or Psalm 23. And I've learned the art of silent prayer. God knows what's in my heart and He always provides, big or small. I am humbled. My children see me in my weakness and forget their rivalry. Family and friends pour their love out on me.

Today I had a lovely note from a friend telling me that her daughter had shelved my books (she works at a library). This little bit of news made me smile; children are reading my books. Another friend stopped by to share her story. It made me cry. She cried when she wrote it. I think it's pretty obvious that her heart is right there on that page.

And so I end this post with a Bible verse (1 Thessalonians 5:18): Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

I have a grateful heart. Amen.
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